How do you deal with the shame and guilt you feel over not being a better money manager?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
How do you deal with the shame and guilt you feel over not being a better money manager?
16
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 11:00pm

I know now some of the reasons I got where I am right now. I accept much of the responsiblity though I know it is not my problem alone. My husband contributed equally. Either way, I am ashamed that for whatever reasons I find myselt at 56 years old with a good job but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007

I feel for you like no one else. We lived most of our life paycheck to paycheck and rejoiced at the end of the month when all the bills were paid and we had food in the pantry. I remember some

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007

I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time.

Kate


empty purse

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

I was in a similar place seven years ago. . . "How did I screw this up so badly, how could I have done this to my family when I was supposed to be responsible for them?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2005
I totally agree with mahopac...sit down and show him the numbers....not just the expenses, but the incomes. He needs to have a realistic picture of what things look like.

You really have to at this point take care of yourselves first. Your children grew up with love, a roof over their heads, food in the bellies, and clothes on them. You are not required to help them with a house, car, college, weddings, etc. Would it be nice if you were in a place that you could afford to do that -- ABSOLUTELY. But since you're not, you really have to be talking care of yourselves first.

Jennifer


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010

Huggs!

#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2006
I love this post, Kate! You are the BEST!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

I used to feel shame and guilt. I don't anymore. I turned things around about 4 years ago. I don't think I could do it better now, save going and getting a better paying job but I would need training.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001

Even though I'm not married & have no kids, I can relate to many emotions in your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008

Thanks so much to everyone of you for the advice and sharing your personal stories. I feel better today...its just this particular son of mine who ends up making me feel this way the most.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001

If it makes you feel any better, I owe more than 3 times what you owe on debt.

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