I'm back and what a mess I have made of things

Avatar for ddatepj
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
I'm back and what a mess I have made of things
14
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 5:27pm

I have not been here since early last summer, some may remember me. I came on here fall 2010 and started sinking funds and Dave Ramsey from advice I got here. I had 285 mortgage, 195 Heloc, and 31K cc debt, 17K efund. By last summer I had gotten cc debt down to 17K and efund up to 31K, also paid off 13K car loan, paid 4200 tax refund to heloc, etc.. Sinking funds changed my life and how I handled my finances. Then I lost my 2 spreadsheets for long term and medium sinking funds last summer when computer died, so I had NO idea what was left in all of my carefully managed funds. Long story short, I gave up. I knew our home repair sinking fund of 1200 was used up at that point, so was our car repair fund of 1200.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 12:54pm

Marie

I am sure this is a typo but it cracked me up

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
I don't know all your particulars, but if your DH passed away during his working years, he would probably get twice his salary, plus your life insurance and you would get social security for the kids and yourself. If you downsized the house, probably doable. But then you are talking more transition for your kids after a possible loss? Just something to think about.

So enough of the morbid stuff, your DH is healthy and will live another 70 years or so!

I would play a game with yourself. You said having the twins and staying in helped you spend less. How about NO SPEND WEDNESDAYS or some other day of the week. Have one day where you do not allow yourself to spend ANYTHING. If you owe something for the kids' lesson, pay it the next day. Don't get gas that day or anything.

Another good move, ONLY use cash for one week. Do not use a debit card at all, feel the money roll through your hands, honestly it will be harder to let go of!

I just bought clothes for a cruise as well. DH and I went together on a pair of black strappy high heels and we are coordinating shoes so we don't bring as many pairs with us, jewelry as well. But I lost a lot of weight last year, and went from a 16 to a 6 within the last 3 years, so a new wardrobe was necessary, to say the least.

You are doing OK, but you know you could do better! Keep coming here, post your goals, vent, impart advice for others and share - it really helps.

-Marie
#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 11:29pm

I agree with the poster who mentioned life insurance. I cannot fathom losing my husband, but not because of his income, I just can't wrap my head around that kind of pain and as we all know a friend of the DSG is going through that right now...

You seem worry about 900k not being enough even if you sell the house.

Avatar for ddatepj
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003

Thank you so much for the feedback, what you said about the similarity with dieting, that I still have to spend money, that is the hardest part. I loved being pregnant with the twins because none of us could leave the house for 6 months, I laid on the couch and crunched numbers and we spent absolutely nothing. I just daydreamed about all teh money we were saving. I used to wait for the mail to come just to have some new paperwork to process or bill to

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Thu, 02-23-2012 - 10:20am
After reading your earlier reply I understand your urgency about the HELOC, didn't know you had a deadline for that.
But I would take that bonus, knock out the CC debt and put the rest on the HELOC, then you can concentrate on just that all year with any extra money you find. Just sending out less bills would be one step easier to manage. Can you vow that 100% of any tax refund will go to the CC debt if you can't do it now with the bonuses?
I know how hard it is to make all ends meet on a higher income. We pay a LOT in taxes each month, and we did not save enough for kids for college so I have a bulk each month going out for that too.
Just wait until your kids turn 16 and beyond, honestly from 16-22 is the MOST expensive time for them even if you have college funded. There are cars to maintain, insurance, cell phones, computers, etc. You can say they should get a job and help themselves, but getting paid $200 a month working at college does not fund that much.
So know the big spend is coming and while you want the kids involved and dressed nice now, and like a nice bathroom, will it trump having a paid off house and no debts?

Hugggs, and so glad you are back!

Marie
#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010

I was just thinkig about you the other day and wondered if you would ever post again.

#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008

I live in everyday terror of his dying even though we are late 30's, because I don't work.

Ummm, what about life insurance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Hi ddatepj,
I'm a little late in posting, but thought I'd chime in anyway.

I can TOTALLY understand the guffufal about losing your spreadsheets. Like you, sinking funds have changed the way I budget and spend. If I lost them for some reason, it would completely disrupt my system. (I back up my files and print hard-copies a couple of times a year.) I felt absolute horror as I read that you had lost all that information!!

Like others have said, you're in pretty good financial shape. Personally, I would have put the bonus money onto the credit card, but if you live in fear of something happening to DH, then you need that e-fund. Money isn't always about the numbers. Sometimes we need to do what is emotionally right. For example, I'm sure others would scoff that I have over 25 sinking funds now ... but hey, they give me peace of mind and security, so I'm doing it my way!

It's an interesting that you become unmotivated if you don't stick to your specific, rigid plan. At times, I have felt that way, though I'm usually able to pull myself back up immediately. If this is impeding your ability to stick with the plan, you might want to consider losening the strings a little bit to ensure success.

Welcome back!

Kate


empty purse

Avatar for ddatepj
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:32pm
I want to thank everyone for their replies. I think that I am upset with myself for not sticking with my rigid, specific plan. If I don't follow that exactly, ie meet my goals when I intended to like the cc debt, I feel I have failed. But I have not once uses a cc since sept 2010 and that is saying something I guess. It is still going down. I am hesitant to pay them off in a lump sum because I do want that 6 month efund for two reasons. One, my husband's job is not rock solid. 2, I live in everyday terror of his dying even though we are late 30's, because I don't work. My heart goes out to Mary Ann who is living this right now. Our expenses are 8k a month so we need 42k in there(the 8k includes some things I would drop if he died ie country club membership so I lowered from 48k). Also unfortunately those appliances did all go on us. One bathroom remodeled due to plumbing issues, we could have waited on the other one so that was irresponsible. We definitely don't have enough in sinking fund for home repair, I upped it from last year, we shall see. House is worth about 600k, so the 470 mortgage is APPALLING. Our heloc switches to a regular loan in 2015, and I am not waiting to see what terms they dream up or if they call in the loan, we're paying it. I guess in the grand scene of things the 12500 cc debt doesn't scare me. Cc's have lost their appeal and their power over me, and they are going steadily away. Losing Dh's income scares me. The heloc scares the living daylights out of me, because that isn't hypothetical, that has an end date. Also the amount of the cc's seems like absolutely nothing in comparison to 187 k mortgage. So writing a 20k check to that in a few weeks will make me feel like superwoman. That would be for 11 percent of the amount of the loan. And 20k that we are paying directly to our bottom line as equity in our own home. And if we get a tax refund we will have even more to throw at it. I feel like my job now is to stick to the plan until next march. We have a very generous plan with many sinking funds for every aspect of life. I need to put in the time, make. That work and everything else will fall into place, god willing no disasters strike. Thanks again for the input. I badly need the accountability.
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

Does your efund include six months' living expenses?

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