I'm new, think I'm losing it, don't know what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2012
I'm new, think I'm losing it, don't know what to do?
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 10:49pm

Where to start?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Your bankruptcy program should have some kind of mandatory counseling or finance classes, be sure to take your DH to those and give him the budget so he sees what you are up against.
The worst case, you can't pay your bills, you go into assisted housing and food stamps - there is always a lifeline, this country does not leave you high and dry.
Be sure to seek out the local food banks as they don't require you to be completely destitute and also ask your church for assistance. There are people out there willing to help.
I think your hormones are the issue, and you HAVE to talk to your husband. Men like facts, not drama, so show him the spread sheets - this is what is coming in, this is what is going out. We are not making it, you need to step it up buddy or your kids will be out on the street. Straight talk is what they deserve and need.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Welcome to the board!

I am sure hormones and health are not helping any.

You may still want to apply within the State system and see what you may qualify for. Worst that can happen is that you don't and you are no worse off than you are now.

I agree with Marie that even if it is not through the State or County, there are also private agencies and such that can help. Ask, ask, ask....who else may be able to help, who else, who else....

I don't know what you work situation is, or quite what the laws are, but wondering what other options you may have there. Do you feel have to stay for health insurance benefits? If yes, and they are cutting your hours can you find something else part-time? If no insurance, would it make more sense to "be laid off?" Again, I don't know much about all that, so just my uneducated thoughts. :)

Oh....the one state aid I did qualify for was daycare. Huge, huge help. I made too much for anything else, but the daycare subsidy made all the difference in the world.

Hang in there and talk to you DH. I am sure you sanity is more important to him than anything else.

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011

You're going through some deeply trying times. I'm not so good at offering financial advice, but it seems to me that you cannot bear the burden all by yourself. You are strong, but it sounds like the pressure has built up to such an extent that you're about to blow. Maybe you could start by cluing in your DH? I don't know whether you need to seek professional help, or whether you can afford it. But keeping it bottled up isn't going to serve you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Hi, welcome,

You have to get some rest and take care of yourself. Your little ones need you. Can DH work an extra job? There are programs in the states for situations like this please don't give up looking yet. Ask, ask, and ask again.