Maybe not

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Maybe not
13
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 2:39pm

Sometimes after a job interview you know you have the job. Sometimes it's gone so well that you have no doubt. Because you have done this before, and everytime you got that feeling, you got the job. And this time your whole life would change if you get the job. 

But it's taken too long. I'm in a line of work where employers never bother telling you you didn't get the job. I'm losing hope. At the same time I'm very confident about my worth, and it makes no sense at all. I've started medicating myself to get through this.

Wish me luck, in the remaining hours of the day.

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Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
In reply to: poorboy2011
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 2:01am

I have no doubt that I'm one of the smartest people in the field. But hiring decisions often have more to do with how you affect the existing departmental politics, which is just a more sophisticated way of saying how much they like you. So in a way a rejection is even more direct as a judgment -- it is a judgment on you rather than on your work. Luck has a lot to do with life, and I seem to be rather short on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: demontespan
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 11:50pm

I am glad you still have your sense of humor!  Smile

Very sorry about the personal stuff.  As to the job offer, sometimes we are lucky because we don't get what we want.  Right now this thought probably does noting to take away your disappointment and pain, but when I look back, there was one job I wanted so badly, and was so close to getting it (had a second interview that lasted three days when they actually put me to work), and indeed I cried for hours and thought my world fell apart when I received the rejection.  That was about one year before 9/11.  Had I gotten that job, I would have a slight possibility of getting killed and a very strong possibility of getting laid-off.

Sending you some cyber-shoulders ...

P. S.  I am sure you know this already that sometimes you don't get a job not because you are not good enough, but because you are too good.  I found out later that my prospective boss was somewhat threatened by my experience.  Please don't let this setback eat into your self-confidence.

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
In reply to: poorboy2011
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 9:03pm

Thanks for the encouragement. LIfe has a way of kicking you when you're down. You get hit with something, then another, then another, and then another. At the end of last week I knew I probably wouldn't get a job offer this year. Then some personal stuff happened this weekend. For the first time in a while I just wanted to sit down and cry. Because I can't get out of this town, if I cried I would have to cry alone.

If God has a plan for me, it probably involves growing a beard. I stopped shaving after returning from the interviews. I had always been clean shaven. Now I have a bit of a moustache and a beard. Now some women are telling me I look like a movie star. At least He has good fashion sense.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 02-22-2013 - 5:14pm

I wish a simple "chin up" would help you.  Undecided

Here is my affirmation from treatment years ago:

"I am a valuable and important person and worthy of the respect of others."

I don't know what your belief system is, but I believe God has a plan.  Growing pains are called such for a reason.  It hurts and it is uncomfortable, but it is the only way we grow.  

Hang in there.  We all love you here.  Laughing

Serenity  CL - Making a Second Marriage Work

Serenity
Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
In reply to: poorboy2011
Fri, 02-22-2013 - 2:40am

@Dee -- Academics may need longer to negotiate, and universities need longer to make arrangement. What if you need a multi-million dollar lab to do your job? The university has to find the money, and they'll try to skimp and you'll have to get them to spend. Often professors have to relocate their entire families across the country, often to a small town they've never seen before. Sometimes the spouse has to find a job, too, and two weeks isn't very long to look for a job. 

It's a different game. There are some benefits, like really good benefit and retirement packages. But there also some downright nasty drawbacks. I have witnessed a negotiation where the employer realized the they didn't have to give the job candidate anything he wanted, because the candidate's wife was in the area already. In other words, the candidate wanted the job to join his wife, from whom he had been apart for years. For him the choice was between accepting a less-than-desirable total package and living apart from his loved ones. With that said, I know academic couples who have lived apart for decades because they just couldn't find jobs in the same area, or even the same continent. 

By now I know that I didn't get the first offer of the second place. So I get to wait for two weeks. Unless the negotiation falls apart at the first place, I am unlikely to get a call. I don't think the negotiation will fall apart, because the person they've offered the job to is, like me, escaping a highly toxic environment.

I'm shaken. And sad. I may not be so smart with money, but I'm one of the smartest people in my field. I just don't have a whole lot of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Fri, 02-22-2013 - 1:17am

I can't cross my fingers for you - I need them to type!

2 weeks to DECIDE? Holy moly! We are usually lucky if we get one day. I usually ask if I can call them back the next day just so I can sleep on it...but most of the time the offer is accepted right then and there...anything more than a day and they are on to the next candidate.

But I do hope that you get that call! And soon.


Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
In reply to: poorboy2011
Thu, 02-21-2013 - 9:41pm
I hope things turn out in your favour so you can move on with life!! Crossables crossed!

Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Thu, 02-21-2013 - 3:56pm

Oh PB, this in between time has got to be the worst, but hang in there.  There might be more options out there, so keep your head held high.

I still believe good things come to good people!

#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Thu, 02-21-2013 - 2:40pm

I'll be hoping and praying for you  Good Luck

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
In reply to: poorboy2011
Thu, 02-21-2013 - 1:16pm

I'll keep my fingers crossed that it works out!!

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