iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 9:09am

Raymond and I thought that we had our affairs in order. In a way we did but it is the little stuff that really gets to you.

You see some of the people that you must deal with because they don't really want to go that next step they will pass you on.

For one thing every wife out there should have a couple of cards in their name in good shape. And at least a couple of months in the bank. That 1,000 efund goes no were fast.

These are a few of the things I have found out the hard way. So I am passing it alone to the board. No matter how much we say the law is this way and that way It really isn't when you come down to it.

First thing Because Raymond died the way he did Not in the hospital and all. They had to do an exam on him with a drug test. So instead of 7 to 10 days to get a death certificate. It will now take 6 to 8 weeks. Even though the coroner said within 24 hours he had a massive heart attach. Without that paper I can not apply for any life insurance and even after I do that it will take another 6 weeks. So forget the life insurance for a while. At least I will have to.

We had fixed the wills that if the other person could not do the secure

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:02am

Mary Anne,

You have done so much in such a short period of time!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:48am

I am proud of you for taking control and telling all of us your story.


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:59am
MaryAnn -
It was good talking to you on the phone today. You have done a good job of getting things taken care of in short order and it is because you are so financially saavy.
Thanks so much for the tips, we really need to get those cars in more than one name, pronto!
I know it is hard living with your son and his wife, but I was glad to hear that he is trying to be good to you and you are very thankful for all of his assistance.
You know, getting old really SUCKS!! It is sad that there are so few choices for you, but like I said, do an internet search for companies that can do in-home care until August when you turn 65.
Also, remember to ask Michael for a filled water pitcher and some cans of Ensure or power bars to make sure you have something to eat near you.
Your Raymond was a saint, looking down on you now from Heaven.
Huggs, Dear Lady, all will be OK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 12:22pm
Mary Ann, you are being incredibly strong. Thank you so much for sharing this information -- I had no idea there could be delays in issuing death certificatees, and I'll need to take this into account in my estate planning so that DD is not left high-and-dry if something should happen to me.



empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 2:02pm

Mary Ann,

Thank you for thinking of all of us. Your words are very helpful for those planning their estates. I can't

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Avatar for ddatepj
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 9:31pm
This is an amazing post. So very generous to think of helping others during this time. I am going to check our car deeds tomorrow and get our wills made, something u mean to do every year. It never get to. I think I would be okay for a few months but have no real plan for how I would live after a few months. We maxed out Dh's life insurance a few years ago to 900,000, I recall suze saying you should only plan to use the interest from the life insurance as income, which is about 50 k when our current lifestyle costs 200k. Obviously I would sell my 600k home, buy a condo for cash with the profit, and get a job. Ideally I would not want to count on one penny of the life insurance $ to feed and clothe my kids, instead put that into trusts for them for their future education. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your story, as a foolish housewife I very much take your story to heart. I especially love your warning about putting $ away in the woman's name. You should write a book.. It moves me more than words can say that you are willing to help others! I truly feel blessed. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 9:59pm

Mary Ann,


"It is said that life has its peaks and valleys.  The challenge is to accept them equally and experience them