Saying "NO"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Saying "NO"
18
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 4:17pm

I read a great article from moneysense just now related to saying no to projects that do not pay you money.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 9:39pm

I've actually been pretty good about saying "no" in my life (more about expending energy than money, however).

I think a lot of the ease in being able to say "no" is doing it when you know saying "yes" is just going to enable someone rather than help them.

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 10:58pm

Yes, I got good at saying no to myself. This skill is so essential, because

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 8:15am

Bumblingalong, I have no problem about saying no to an expensive restaurant.

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 12:24pm

I have a hard time saying "No" to my son.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 3:33pm
small_change wrote:

I put a lot of "Yes"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 5:54pm
LOL!! Hmmm, given that statement, you'd think I'd be a lot more popular....

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 10:45pm
I admit, I don't mind saying "no" to anything I don't want to do, regarding money or anything else. I am nice about it, and if it is about helping a friend or loved one, no problem, but if I am out of time, money, etc., I just come out and say it. I even say "no" about things my husband wants to do but I don't - if he wants to go away with a group of our friends skiing for the weekend and I don't, I tell him to go have a wonderful time but I am going to spend a weekend solo. (This is a mostly single group so not having your other half with you isn't a problem.) And he goes off and does it and has fun and I spend a less expensive weekend with just me, a glass of wine, and the dog. :) At work it is different - our corporate culture is such that saying no is no a good thing and we all back each other up, so it is our job to say yes and get it done. I've encouraged my mother to grow a "selfish" bone. She never says no and people expect her to run too much, committees, etc. Interesting topic!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 7:22am
It is an interesting topic! I was reading a magazine last night which talked about the new phenomena of "internships", whereby recent graduates are increasingly expected to work unpaid internships to gain experience. Unfortunately, this trend isn't good because statistically these interships don't lead to employment. It's supposed to be a win-win situation but the reality is that it's mostly a "win" situation for the employer. Young people are either being exploited (by working for free) or excluded (because they can’t afford to work for free).

ldp328 brings up an interesting twist: sometimes we can't say no because of a corporate culture or elderly parents who depend on you. What happens? Do you start saying no more often to counterbalance all the "absolute yes" your priorities?

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-1999
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 11:18am

Great thread!

Our issue on the "saying no" front is that we are ALWAYS the ones to travel to family for visits.










iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 12:20pm

We have made decisions that take into consideration how we were raised and our personal goals.

We have two children, I never wanted more than two because I understood my obligation to provide an education for them and knew what I could afford, so I kept things in moderation.

#Marie

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