Sorry I've been MIA ... I've fallen off the wagon

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Sorry I've been MIA ... I've fallen off the wagon
Mon, 07-01-2013 - 10:45am

BF and I broke up. I've haven't been able to focus on anything and I've lost track of spending. I was pretty blindsided and at the moment feel pretty crappy. I didn't see it coming. I'll try and post more often but for now I just need to take it one day at a time :(

Bex -

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011

Bex, I understand what you're going through. I fell off the wagon around last June for a similar reason, and this past year I've been getting dragged behind the wagon trying to climb back up. Girl 1, whom I cared about deeply, turned out to be a stripper. Girl 2 turned out married. Girl 3 was so elusive that I now think she must have been lying to me about something big. Girl 4 might have been doing stuff that could land her in a lot of trouble, or so I suspect (I never saw any evidence). I won't discuss Girls 5-7.

So I kept getting hit by Mac trucks this past year. Some of you might recall I didn't manage to get a job. So, yeah, in some ways it was a hard year for me. You don't need advice from me -- I'm so bad at handling this that nobody should take my advice. Just some observations, maybe. Spending doesn't heal an impoverished soul. It is a bandaid at best. You will draw water from a spiritual source, but I have to say I wasn't too good at it. You will feel grief, and you will have to accept that you will continue to feel grief for a long time. Each time you revisit, however, it will be a little less. 

After re-reading what I just wrote, I honestly don't know how I found the strength to keep going. I don't know why I have such luck with people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Gosh my condolences....a broken heart is soooo painful.... All the best dear bex, Duke
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010


Echo what all prior said, especially Countryga, you are pretty, a really smart and hard working woman and SINGLE!  

I recently read a really good book, Stilletto Network, regarding women and networking. You are at a high level in your field and with your drive I think you can do so much more.  Why not take you mind off romance, and push the limits in your field.  Think out of the box, find women who can mentor  you to a really high level, and those YOU can mentor to bring up as well.  I just see you moving into a major 7 figure level, and with it all the perks of not having to worry about finances as much.  We need more women like you at the executive level.  

I do love my DH, but let me tell you that the compromises I have had to make for men and kids in my life have had an impact on my career.  Not that I would change having my daughter or being with my now DH.

While loss is always hard, you now have an open road on which to travel, why not take it and see where it goes?



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008

I am so so sorry Bex.  There was something you said a couple of weeks ago that threw up a red flag, but I was hoping I was wrong.  

{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}} and yes, don't bet up on yourself now.  Find something positive to focus on and you'll be OK financially.  You smart, your a great worker, and your pretty and SINGLE!  and DON'T forget it!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001

((Oh Honey))

I'm so sorry!  You've been doing so good.  I agree that you need to just take some time to absorb everything, and hit the finanaces again when you are up to it.  Gawd, it must really suck  :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-1999

So sorry you are going thru this right now, Bex.  Take care of you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Thanks ladies. I am supposed to be on a vacation day but I think I'm going into the office. I need to do something to keep my mind busy. This sucks

Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009

I am so sorry Bex, please be kind & patient with yourself.  know we are here for you, not just for finances! **HUGS**

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006

So sorry Bex.  I bet your "falling off the wagon" is nothing compared to those who have no sense of their personal finances.  

Be kind to yourself and things will fall into place.  Hugs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Oh Bex I'm so sorry. This must be so hard. 

One day at a time you are right.

Take the summer and refocus on what you really want.