Sunday morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-1999
Sunday morning
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 3:15am

Hello, hello, hello…….!

Sitting here drinking tea and thinking……and watching reruns on TV……..

A lot going on, but I’ll just start the stories.

I haven’t talked to my dear relative who is buying a house she should not be.  Too much going on with work and the caretaking of my uncle…..or is it caregiving?   I wish I didn’t HAVE to CARE!!!!!!  Another story for later.  In 3 weeks she’ll know for sure that all is a go with the house.  I was at a hardware store this evening after dinner with my SO.  He wanted to find some equipment he needs for a project at home, and we were looking at some hardware gift kits after we found out the items he was looking for were special order only.  Ah, the gift sets!  I have all the tools I need, but SO was gushing over a few sets he might like as a holiday gift.  But I started “the old thinking.”: Gee, wouldn’t it be nice to give my dear relative a tool kit for the new house…..NO No!!!!!  Stop that!  I am going to offer advice and my assistance sewing curtains or something…… still valuable.  I am also sure I can give a gift of something I already own if I have to.  I have dishes I haven’t even used yet. 

Work and the caregiving (which is still work!!!!!!!!!!) consume my time.  There are layoffs going on where I work.  They are doing it incrementally on THURSDAYS, and they have hit 2 teams so far.  I feel like I am next on the hit list.  SCARY!!!!  If I have to find a new job, then the caregiving will complicate it.  I’m very worried about that. 

The caregiving has been hard.  I was laying in bed the other night, and I began to think about what I am truly involved in with this.  It only gets harder.  And harder.  We had to change an aspect of a daily routine last week, and it was an ordeal.  I realized that I was the only one who could do anything with it, and it was a truly depressing moment knowIng I had no help.   I pay extra money for the nursing staff to attend to him, and there was a comment made about helping only so many times… tomorrow I have to make a fuss to find out what exactly I am paying $800 a month for.    I don’t have the time to deal with that.

And Caretaking costs me time and money I don’t have.  I do recoup some of the money every month despite the fact my uncle thinks I should be doing this for nothing.

I have been reassessing what I have been spending.  I wrote a budget last week for 2013, and it’s a doozey.  It is written so I can adjust as I go, but I am trying to pay down the debt and save for the express purpose of getting in better financial position if I get laid off next year.  Not much I can do about the present. 

I have been learning to tell myself no AND not feeling deprived.  That is another journey I am getting ready to set on.  Today was a good day.  I spent time on myself this morning, and it was wonderful.  I have been neglecting myself, and that needs to stop.  I think I am spending and eating to make up for time I am missing for myself. 

I will continue to keep slogging thru all of this.  Push, push, push.

Wish me luck.  Littlesbigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 8:43pm
Littlebigs- Can you look at the situation a bit differently? What if you did have a family of your own and children to care for? Then would you have time for this Uncle? Can you talk to your uncle and frankly tell him that you are not well off, and people around you are loosing their jobs? For your cousin getting a new home, it is no worry of yours. You never know what someone's finances are. If she lives in the home for a while and looses it, too bad, she made her bed. Hey, she got to live in a home she liked for a bit. And who knows, maybe she does better and climbs out of the whole. If she gets a home, well a nice gift card for Home Dep is what I just got my cousin with a card. I just put it in my budget and we don't do holiday gifts, just really special occaisions. You just have to concentrate on your life, doing all you can to keep your own house in order. That is all we have in our own power.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 12:45pm

Girl...I simply do NOT know how you handle all of this.  I admire are one tough cookie.

Hang in there <3

Avatar for CMEvelyn
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 3:00pm

Wishing you luck, with everything, and good for you not buying a gift for the person with the house they can't afford. Advice and sewing help is more valuable anyway.