Vent - Controlling Parents?
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|Wed, 10-17-2012 - 4:26pm|
Ok another vent, but I have been in tears the last day and a half.
As many of you know, I am remarried and my first husband passed away after we divorced. In the divorce he got our ski boat, but later he was short on cash and offered to sell it to me for $3k, so I paid it with $2k of my own, $1k from my dad. Took the boat up to our cabin and we used it since 2008. It is a 1980 ski boat, we put $500 into it in 2010, and this summer the engine blew (head gasket or something major.) Mechanic said over $2k to fix, not worth it as we have a couple other boats, including a pontoon and jet skis.
In the meantime, I have paid my parents house taxes a couple times at about $3k total. So I kind of figured the debt to them paid.
Well I offered this dead boat (now valued at less than $600) to my cousin who is always there for us and he even needed to buy tires because they were so old and shot. On the way home, the bearings on the trailer went, so he had issues in pouring rain. Again, the boat is pretty toasted at 32 years old. This cousin has also helped our family COUNTLESS times and they actually see my parents more than my brother, he has done things for my parents, helped move me and just been there all the time.
Well I mentioned it to my mom in a phone conversation and she got all up in arms. She asked if I had asked my dad about it, etc. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal, thought our debt was paid and thought I was doing a great thing in keeping it in the family and actually getting it closer to their home (as my cousin lives much closer to them.) Gosh, someone will use it now! I honestly thought this was a really great thing! Better than selling it for $200 to a stranger or trashing it, right? They don't want it and can't store it at their house as they are in the burbs with regulations. My dad is too old to fix it (mid 70s) it and has not used it or even come up to see us in over 2 years.
My dad called suggesting I needed to offer it to my brother (who does not need anything, let alone a broken boat - besides my brother does not want it - I did ask!) My gosh, point is that I didn't try to do anything underhanded. I thought it was the best course of action.
And yes, I will pay them the $1000 AGAIN! If that will make peace. (But I doubt it as my mother needs to control where everything in the family goes, despite how it might hurt any personal relationships - things area always more important than people in her world.)
Lesson 1: NEVER take money from family!!
Lesson 2: NEVER, EVER take money from family!! NO MATTER HOW GREAT you think your relationship is.
Lesson 3: NEVER TELL a controlling parent anything about your life. Just talk about the weather.
THANKS FOR THE VENT - AGAIN!!