When using cash....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
When using cash....
11
Wed, 10-17-2012 - 9:17pm

Does anyone use only cash?  I have tried this, but not with the best results. My husband constantly loses receipts and really is not as on board with saving as me.  So, he uses cash for things other than those for the house and I get upset. What is the best way to handle a spouse who thinks saving should only be for the money you have left after you buy everything you want.?

Shell

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 7:59pm

Hi Ktqt07,

I sat my DH down and let him work out the budget for November so that  he can see how it looks like a lot of money but how quickly it goes with just the fixed expenses. YOU are right, they have to see it to understand it.

Shell

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 7:57pm

Hello,

My husband and I work opposite schedules. He has the kids during the day and does 40% of the shopping.  He is just not careful, and overspends.  Also, he loves to take my daughter who is 3 to different stores and such, and usually ends up buying her something, and lunch out and on and on. Just fun spending that really can add up fast.  Also, gas prices are killing us.  So this is pretty much how we can quickly spend and extra $1000 in just one month. But....in November we are using cash as I said before, so I am really hoping for the best.

Shell

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 7:07am

I will say that I controlled all the finances in our family for awhile and it caused me so much stress it was ridiculous. I knew what was coming and and going out but DH had no idea so he would constantly overspend and overdraw the account. We share the financial responsibility a lot more now.

We still have different views on what's important and what we want to accomplish, but we compromise a lot more readily. He gets more play money if he agrees to send a higher payment to a credit card on the next paycheck. Different systems work for different households.

Good luck getting your DH onboard!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 2:15pm
What does your DH buy? I mean I do our grocery shopping, clothes shopping, my own gas and such. I pack his lunches, he takes coffee and a biscuit sandwich for breakfast and we eat dinners at home together. He really never spends much except on his gas. So if you do all the spending, what is he spending on?
#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2012
Fri, 10-19-2012 - 6:55am
That is awesome, Shell! Keep us posted on your progress :).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 8:17pm

Wow, thank you so much for all of your great ideas.  I definitely am going to have a long talk with DH.  I handle the money and he really just has no idea. I like to be in control, but it backfires because he just has thinks the money is an endless supply.  I really want to give the cash system a try because I just always overspend using debit and credit cards.  I will set up jars like that woman Gail Voz Oxlade on her show " Till Debt Do Us Part" and  DH and I will add the receipts and write it in a notebook that I lay out.  I am serious to save for a house and this is the only way to do it.

Thanks again,

Shell

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 3:01pm

Everyone is right, your DH is not going to do a 180 overnight on this one.  I would suggest setting some kind of automatic withdrawal into another account.  It sounds like he could probably live off of less if he never saw the money.  What kind of account you pick to put it in is a whole other topic.

We do have to find some kind of acceptance that our SO's way of doing things is not necesarily wrong, it is just different than ours.  Me and my are not married and have separate accounts.  As much as I would LOVE to stick to an envelope system, or paper clip like Marie, it would drive my SO batty!!!  If every time he said "could you pick up ______ for me today," and I asked for the specific amount back from him every time, he would go nuts. 

You didn't really say if you were trying to get out of debt, or just simply start saving, but would your DH be open to a simple dollar amount or percentage being transferred out every payday?  At some point though, you would want to be on the same page of what the savings is intended for though.  Emergency, loss of job, retirement, etc.

Gotta' run, good luck and keep us posted...

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 2:29pm
I have used cash for at least 4 years now (and paid down a lot of debt in the meantime.) First, every pay of mine I take out $500 (that is every other week.) I take $250 and put it in envelopes in our small safe that is located in our house, is has a cable that loops it around a main house beam so no one can take it. I take the other $250 and put it in my wallet: $75 gets a red and white striped paperclip around it as it is gas for my car, $150 it put in a pile with a green paperclip for grocereies, and $75 gets an orange paperclip for my spending or mad money. Now this is all I get for two weeks, period. My husband has a debit card and gets his check. Every two weeks he notes what he spent and gives me a check from his account to put in our bill paying checking. He gets $100 every two weeks for spending, but he uses his debit card for his gas and such. I also have tuck away money. Somewhere in my purse or wallet I have some emergency money: a $100 bill, so it would have to be a true emergency to break that (not, I feel like an ice cream) and a $20 bill (for the I fell like an ice cream - but it is funny, I rarely use it because I always have my cash.) Honestly, it is really easy once you get to about 90 days on cash. You start to notice where you fall down, you only buy what you need and you keep every penny tighter. You find you have less "backstock" in the pantry - but that is money sitting on those shelves in the form of corn, or chicken soup, and even canned goods are best if used by a certain date. It works and I have $118k less debt to show for it, with two kids in college! You cannot get a spouse on board who does not have skin in the game with you. Apparently he does not share your beliefs about debt, so taking him to a class or putting shows about money on television might help to start to educate him. But you cannot turn a boy into a man overnight. -Marie
#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2012
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 10:55am

HI there.  I agree with the others.  If your husband isn't on board with your savings/budgeting plan, it won't work out.  Once you both get on the same page, things will get better. 

Good luck and hope to see you keep posting here.

Michele

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 9:39am

I think the issues is not using cash only or not, but the fact that your husband is not 100% on board with saving money.  Doing a budget that you both agree upon should be a starting point.

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