"You're not happy"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
"You're not happy"
7
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 5:38pm

So Bf and I had a good weekend together and were talking about a lot of things. One of the things that came up was whether or not we would have made the same choices regarding careers if we knew now what we knew then. Well one of the things he mentioned was the fact that I don't seem happy. My job is so demanding that I have managed to give up almost all other aspects of my life. I work, come home, sleep and do it again.

So I am going to start taking small steps and see if I can work at rebalancing. My new manager starts tomorrow (yay) so I am hoping that it will help. Keep your fingers crossed for me!


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 8:40pm

Good luck!! I hope it gets better. :) My now husband has been telling me for years I seem stressed by my job and unhappy. I admit, I was much happier when I met him and I was making alot less money, but enjoying life a heck of a lot more. I started volunteering again, working out again, etc. But I realized after 5 years of that, it really is my work. I gave notice a few weeks ago and I am moving on to a job that pays me about 15% less. And I cannot wait! I hope it doesn't take going this route for you - I know I am not pleased about losing income, but I am looking forward to the change and I've found ways to make it work in my budget. Perhaps you can strike that balance and be happy and financially well without making a job change!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 7:38am
Is it possible to delegate some of your tasks? I realize it isn't always possible, but even if you can get a few items off your plate, it might help.

I only work 40 hours a week (plus 15 hours on the bus) and it feels like all I do is work, come home, cook, sleep and do it all over again. So I can only imagine how much worse it is for you!

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 10:13pm

Commuting does take up so much time!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 10:49pm
Bex, Do you agree with your boyfriend that you are not happy? Or is he not happy because youare not always available to him? I think it is very important to visualize the life you want, and then set goals to get there. For me, where I live is very important. I live where I can walk to work, in a neighborhood I love, in a condo I love. I worked very hard to earn the money for this. I lived in this neighborhood but lived in a tiny condo for a lot of years while I built equity and saved for this. At many points in my career, my job has been the center of my life. I am not married and don't have children, but that was not the life I wanted. I found a lot of pleasure being in the middle of exciting projects. I liked the challenge. I liked the financial rewards. I love what I have achieved. Other people might think I have missed out on things, and I probably did. But everyone does. It is a myth that we can have it all. I like to think that I could have anything I want, but I cannot have everything I want. it is very important to learn delegating skills - that is critical to success and growth. The more of the routine and easy tasks you can offload, the more you are available for the good stuff. I am near the end of my work life, and I am finding other things to fill my life with. But i do not regret the time i spent working. if you are not happy with how much you are working, take control and set boundaries and limits. But if you love what you are doing, do not let others make you feel bad about your choices. There are way worse vices than working too hard.... Best wishes SJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 12:14pm
Bex-
We all work so hard to have these great careers, but then spend the best part of every day giving what we have to that career, neglecting ourselves and our needs.
If the career is such that you do not see some goals, accomplishments, and a bit of fun, it is really hard to keep that positive energy up day after day - especially in this northern weather.
I have been thinking about it myself, while I love marketing, I do not like my current position and teaching is leaving me really tired each day. I don't have time to work out and feel like we are just on this roller coaster.
Vacations help a lot, as they are something to look forward to and a time to refresh.
How about a leadership course? This could help you utilize your team more effectively and make the workplace a great place to be?
-Marie
#Marie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 1:30pm

I agree with Marie. A

JenAaron.jpg picture by jen2075


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 10:52pm
I have to say that companies run tight and many times there is not additional staff to delegate to. I remember telling my boss I was unable to keep up, I was so buried in work that it was just impossible. I was told if I couldn't keep up, I better leave the company and find another job. Some companies don't do any career building (mine was one of them that is why I started my MBA in 2008 and I will be done in 3 months). I agree to take classes for YOU if that will help you feel more empowered. But sometimes you can't manage up, sometimes you need to just have some "go to hell money" as I learned my first hour of my MBA in 2008....The dean told us this and I think she was right. I don't really have that money, but it was empowering to think about anyway. Regardless, not all companies even care about building their team, or building individuals. They care about the profit margin and freak out if it isn't matching up to projections. Then they cut professional development courses, do layoffs, it gets ugly the people left behind do more work with less people. I hope Bex is at a company that embraces professional development. My company really didn't it is day to day. And I am the HR person....and I couldn't do anything about it!! Some environments are just toxic. In 6 years I almost doubled my salary and it wasn't worth it. But, with that being said, maybe the OP is in a much better company!! :) Enough of my rant, I do agree with the poster that it is about if you don't feel happy, not if someone else notices.