Hello and Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2012
Hello and Thank you!
12
Wed, 03-21-2012 - 10:24pm

Many years ago I found myself on this board (about 9 years ago).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Thu, 03-22-2012 - 5:17am
Hi jiggy102,
Thanks for sharing your story of success! $30K in one year is an incredible accomplishment! I think it's especially important that you've shared that the process is a journey that goes up and down. Accepting that setbacks are part of the process is key. Having paid off all my debt also, I would agree that it is an incredibly empowering experience!

Jiggy102, how did you manage to change your attitude? Was it a slow process, or did you have an "Ah ha!" moment? Overall my attitude about money has changed but I still experience moments where I overspend or ignore my budget, so I'd be curious if you had any tips or insight.

I agree that this board is incredible. I've learned so much here!

Kate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2012
Thu, 03-22-2012 - 2:39pm

Hi Kate,

The biggest change for me was mostly about having gratitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Sun, 03-25-2012 - 7:34am
Hi Sandra,
Wow, I hadn't really thought about the link between gratitude and spending. I can see some of my behaviour in what you've written (I look at houses on-line as well). I periodically keep a gratitude journal and maybe I should make it a daily habit, including not only qualitative things (friends, family, health) but qualitative things (my Tassimo, my jewellery). I need to feel more appreciative about what I already have.

Thank you so much for this insight, it's really helped me. I see the direction I need to go!!

Kate


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Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 10:09pm

Very good posts, Sandra. After I got on this board and started paying careful attention to my money and my spending, I, too, gradually began to feel I am in control of my money, rather than the other way around. Certainly, there are still many things that I want to do but cannot, because I don't have money to do it. While money (or the lack thereof) remains a limitation, I no longer feel so terrible about it.

I am under pressure to live a certain lifestyle because of my job. Most people I work with are from more financially affluent backgrounds, and there is a certain amount of expectation that I'd live the life the same way, subscribe to the same values, etc. This board has helped me feel a bit more confident about resisting this sort of pressure. Of course, this may make people like me less, but that's there problem. If I lose my job over something like this, it's not a job worth holding on to.

I am trying to feel grateful for the things I do have. I do confess I want more (not material things), and those of you who have been following my posts know what it is I want. I'm both too tired and too embarrassed to repeat it right now.

Thanks again, Sandra.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 5:10pm
poorboy2011 wrote:

I am under pressure to live a certain lifestyle because of my job. Most people I work with are from more financially affluent backgrounds, and there is a certain amount of expectation that I'd live the life the same way, subscribe to the same values, etc. This board has helped me feel a bit more confident about resisting this sort of pressure.

This is how I felt for a long time too.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 5:11pm

I agree, Jiggy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2012
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 7:25pm

Poorboy - I still "want things but the HUGE difference for me is the fact i no longer feel deprived or like I am doing without by not having my dreasm "right now".

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Thu, 03-29-2012 - 12:32am

Sandra, the things I am being pressured to have are not necessarily the things I want or dream of. That's the funny thing. I am a professor, and even though academia has the reputation for being liberal, open-minded, tolerant, etc., it can be highly normative, close-minded, and intolerant to its members.

My current job is my first job, and I've been on it for only a few years. So those of us who live in the real world know that it takes a while before you can afford big ticket items. But some of my colleagues expected me to have a house already (Someone actually said to me, "All you need is the down payment, and who doesn't have $50,000?"). They pressured me to get married, as if though somehow being single is my fault. I'm expected to have a lot more international travel experience (summer in Paris, for example). Someone even kept chastising me for failing to manage my "sizeable inheritance" better (I never inherited any money, but she just assumed that I come from money). In other words, I don't live in a fashion befitting "my station in life."

They're nuts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Thu, 03-29-2012 - 8:54am
Seriously? "Who doesn't have $50,000?"???

It sounds like giving these people a reality-check would be an uphill battle.

And I know what you're dreams are, PB. Hang in there. I think you'll get what you're hoping for.

Kate


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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 03-29-2012 - 10:44am

They ARE nuts!

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