How did I get here? And, where am I going? This will be a long, much needed introduction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2011
How did I get here? And, where am I going? This will be a long, much needed introduction.
Sat, 11-26-2011 - 9:58pm

Hello all, this will be my first foray into online message boards since I was.. 13? I am 26 now, and that feels like forever ago, so bear with me.

Where to start...

I am a teacher, and if you know anything about teaching, you will know that the payscale does not match the schooling or level of professionalism required of my job. I am not about to gripe about being underpaid, I enjoy my summers off, and that accounts for my smaller salary, and I know this. I have chosen to pursue a Graduate degree because that is one of the ways that I can push myself up the payscale a bit faster. All was going well, and things were under control, and then I got pregnant. Any of you with babies and young children know (or likely remember) how expensive babies can be. That point is where the credit card debt started (along with student loans, which are still building as I am still in school). Long story short, my soon to be ex husband is not the father of my now 1 year-old daughter. We are getting a divorce, and my boyfriend (and my daughter's father) is living with me, and has been in the picture in a big way since she was born (my ex did not like the idea of being a father even before we found out she wasn't his). So, filing for divorce costs money that I didn't have as I am supporting my house *almost* single-handedly as my soon-to-be-ex moved out of the house this past June, and has paid nothing for utilities, mortgage, etc from that point (which is fine, I wouldn't expect him to support me).

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006

Hi and Welcome!

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011

If you really want a smart phone, take a look at the Virgin Mobile phones:

You will have to pay for the phone (no discount). Make sure to pick a smart phone. Then you pick a monthly plan. The monthly plan includes unlimited data (web, email, text, messaging) and 300 minutes for $35 or 1200 minutes for $45. No contract. You may want to check the coverage in your area, though. Virgin uses Sprint's network, which can be iffy out in the country.

I think this is what I can contribute. As I read your confession and calculated your expenditures along with you, I felt the sensation of a boa tightening around my heart. I feel for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008

Welcome to the board,

Good for you for putting it all out there. That is the first step. There are lots of blended families on the board so we can all relate to some degree or another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007


I don't know about ex's and boyfriends because I adopted my husband when he was 20 and kept him.

Here is a few things I tell everyone they need to do to start getting out of their money mess.

One go on line or to the library and find a money book that has percentages in it for a budget. I learned years ago that when your percentages are out of kilter then that is when the credit cards come into play. Example if your house payment and what it takes to run your home cost more then 40% of your monthly income Then you got a problem.You either have to refinance your home and get the payments lowered, bring in more money a month, or sell your home and get something cheaper.

One night you and your boyfriend need to sit down at the dinning table and make a list of all the income you have between both of you. And do your percentages. If auto is over 15% get on the phone and try to find a cheaper insurance company, get a credit card like a Kroger card that gives you a discount on gas My husband saves at least 40 cents a gal on gas because we buy our food at Kroger. Walmart does the same thing. That can save you money.

I don't know how much you are putting into retirement as a teacher. But if you can I would lower it down to around 1 percent a month and put the saving into a saving account that you can get a hold of if you need. That will build you a EFund. I would not say that if you were older but you are so young. See you lose money at least 20% or more if for some reason you need to take money out of a retirement account. But if you never put the money in the account then you are 20% ahead of the game Then when things get better for you You can always up the percentage.

Coupons are good. There are a ton of coupons on line as we all know. I have seen coupons in our town for clothing at Macy's up to 20% off. But when I had a little one. I shopped a lot at kids consignment stores and also Goodwill. I have ran across clothes at a consignment store that the kids never wore. And I seen on a TV show that it is a good idea to make a list for what the child will need for the next 3 or 6 months. See you are wasting your money if you buy a kid to much clothes because they out grow them so fast. Another thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008

Hello "E" and WELOME!


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Hi E, and welcome to the boards!

Wow, you've really got a lot going on! My goodness! Given how much you're dealing with, it might be better to plan short, attainable goals and leave your long-term goal in place (figuring out how to gain more income). Let's hope your DBF can get those child support payments lowered.

Congratulations on winning the 6 months of free cable!


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Sounds like you have a lot more issues than credit card debt.