Long overdue to be here - feeling ashamed and devastated by it all (warning very long post)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-1998
Long overdue to be here - feeling ashamed and devastated by it all (warning very long post)
19
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 8:17am

My name is Emily and we are currently over $40,000 in credit card debt.

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Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011

Emily, we're all in the same boat. I probably owe more than you do, if that's any sort of consolation. This group has been useful for me, so I'd encourage you to stick around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-1998

Both our sets of parents have passed on (with the exception of dh's biodad who whom he hasn't really spoken to in years).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

Hi;

I am wondering if your husband can find more employment? That could give you some extra money..

Maybe he can find

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2011
Ugh. Could he pick up a moonlighting job? What about a used bit working oven?
Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011

I looked into ways of negotiating with credit card companies to get a lower interest rate. Apparently it can be done, but it's a long, frustrating process that will hurt your credit rating. I heistate to give details because I haven't done it myself, and got my information from the internet. Depending on how desperate you are, this may be something to consider.

Your debt is a number. You just need to knock it down. You can do it. Don't connect it to anything else, especially not your self worth, your parental responsibilities, etc. I have seen wealthy, talented children grow up to be rather unhappy, underachieving adults who can't seem to fulfill their potential. I've also seen poor kids grow up to do much. You want to give your child (children?) the best, and you wish you could offer more materially. But you never know how life turns out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2010

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-1998

Thanks Llla.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2010

Yes it will be hard--- BUT -- maybe use your crockpot for a NEW

Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
emilymnaly wrote:

Thanksgiving will be hard this year without being able to do any baking and no nice roast turkey. But we will have no choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2010
Welcome to the board - hey we had over $100k in debt besides the house, so you are not alone!!

A couple things that got us headed in the right direction:
- Dave Ramsey book the Total Money Makeover, and Financial Peace University - we both attended the course and it got us in sync and intense.
- 2nd jobs! I work teaching at night after work a day or so a week. Some here have gone retail for weekends. If you have some short term goals you can do this for a little while (it has been 4 years for me so far.)
- GO CASH - get the CCs and debit cards out of your purse/wallet and take your spending out in CASH - if you don't have it you will plan better and spend a LOT less.

You guys can do this, we have and the support of this board has been great.
If you look at the bottom of the board, we post snowflakes on Fridays and Accountability on Mondays to extol our successes and have a place to be accountable for our spending. It really helps a lot when you have to write it down.

Welcome, stay, post and you can make progress!

BTW, if you want me to look at your budget, email me at MarektingVirgo at yahoo dot com and I will help you anonymously as I have done dozens of others. (I have done financial counselor training and have an MBA.)

-Marie
#Marie

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