New to IVillage, and in debt!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
New to IVillage, and in debt!
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 10:09pm

I'm Jess and my H and I are in 22146 in debt. That's medical, CC, and Car Note. We don't not pay our bills it's just when we get that available balance on our cc, we put money back on the CC. So they aren't moving. My husband works as an assistant manager at a restaurant and goes to school.  He just got a raise. I stay at home with my son, who is autistic. I'm freaking out though. We are having another baby  3 months pregnant and that's another mouth to feed with our tight food budget.

I need help on thinking we can do this, it might take some time. I need help on how to handle the debt and spend within our means. I'm worried about Christmas and baby stuff.

I look forward to what you think,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 11:49am

Hi welcome.

You can do this. Things may not get better utill you can go back to work or your husband is done school but you may be able to prevent it from getting worse. 

Do you have any baby furniture from the last baby? Babies don't need much really unless a person wants to go all out. Start looking for sales on a car seat. What about garage sales for furniture or other needed things. Start getting diapers ect one step at a time now so it won't seem like such a big hit to your grocery budget when the baby gets there. 

Is working a job at night for you a possibility after hubby gets home? Even one or two nights a week would help to prep for baby. 

Don't worry about Chistmas. Kid's don't need much, just make it about family time. Everyone else will understand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-1999
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 3:04pm

Hi, welcome to the board.  You CAN do must stay disciplined & adhere to a plan.  Do you have anything that you can sell to start a baby emergency savings account(EF)?  If you could put $1000 in an EF & then cut up your credit cards & not use them could then use your EF if an EMERGENCY really need to try to get out of the credit card use habit.  Often times we spend more using a credit card than we would if we just had cash.  Write out your budget before you get paid so you know exactly where the $ goes.  Some people also use cash only envelopes for groceries, eating out etc...when the envelope is empty you have to wait until payday to fill it back up & buy groceries etc. 

Good luck & I hope you can come up with a plan of attack that works for you!  Also, good ideas about looking for a very parttime job that could help bring in a little more income...what about newspaper delivery...or watching a child a few days a week for a working mom?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 3:52pm

Hi and Welcome to IViliage Debt Support Group, or DSG for short. 

I know the overall number is scary, but you have to look past that number and break things down one at a time.  For instance the car.  I'm sure it is a necessity for your husband to drive to work & school.  Is the rate of interest on the car high?  Could you save a few dollars a month by refinancing?  If not, can you put at least $10 a month more on the payment?  These are all small things, but think about making every dollar he earns count. 

The credit card.  Why are you using it?  Is it shear temptation, passing up a good sale?  Are the items you charging food, medical care?  Or are you simply coming up short of money each month and using the card to make ends meet?  (I was guilty of this practice.)

I'm sure you have a monthly budget, if not, make one out now.  Look at all your monthly bills and ask yourself is there any way I can cut this bill just a few dollars.  The electric bill, the water bill might be cut by doing a few tiny things a month.  Wash in cold water.  Let some things air dry and then fluff them in the dryer for a few minutes.  Simple things can add up.    Look at your cable bill, phone bill or cell phones.  Can you get a better deal?  I cut out my home phone.  I have not missed that phone one single bit.  I can truly say I wish a thousand times over I had done that sooner.  If you don't want to cut the home phone, take the cheapest plan they have.  Apply that money to your food budget. 

Simply look at every monthly expense you have and ask yourself the question and ask your hubby, is there any way I can save a few dollars here and a few dollars there.  You may not be able to pay the card off this year.  But with a few small moves you might be able to stop charging on the card.  Try putting the card away in frozen ice.  Pretend you no longer have the card and see how long you can live without.  It can be done.  I've not used a credit card since 2008. 

Good luck and come back often and let us know how you are doing.


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 11:27am

Hi Georgia, and welcome!

I don't look at my total debt.  It is just too overwhelming.  Like someone else already said, break it down to what it really is.  Especially with kids, there will probably always be some kind of medical bill to pay most months.  A car, eventually will get paid off.  Every car payment you make is lowering your debt.

Now, it is the CC many of us, including myself, have to work on.  Unsecured debt is what bothers me more than a car payment or medical bills.

If you are unsure where you can cut back, try writing down every penny you spend for a month.  Litterally....every penny.  Most of us have a vice that we should cut back on.  After doing that for a month, you will know exactly where your money is going. 

And if you can work a few hours a week until you deliver, that will also help. 

Lastly, try sticking away a few dollars a month for things we all know will come up.  Right now, I am stashing the money away when I return pop cans.  In Oregon we pay a 5 cent deposit and can get that back when we return them.  I have about $35 saved right now.  Not much, but the intention is for a summer activity we may not normally feel we can afford.  

Stick around and keep posting.  Wonderful ladies on this board!  Oh, and poorboy, too.  :smileyhappy: 


Avatar for poorboy2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 9:10pm
countrygal-2008 wrote:

The credit card.  Why are you using it?  Is it shear temptation, passing up a good sale?  Are the items you charging food, medical care?  Or are you simply coming up short of money each month and using the card to make ends meet?  (I was guilty of this practice.)

I'm sure you have a monthly budget, if not, make one out now.  

I second both of these suggestions. A part of taking control of our debt is taking control of the movement of the debt and the spending patterns. If you can make halfway decent projection of where you will be in a year, and how you'll get there, it really motivates you to control the spending.

We do weekly accountability, and that's a good way to analyze what you spend money on. It was surprising to me how what I thought were little things added up. (They weren't little.) I guess this is kind of like losing weight. At some point you'll have to start counting your calories every day. Even if your problem is so bad that there is no way to cut down, then at least you'll know you need to increase the income. 

This is a good forum. There is no judgment. Well, mostly no judgment.