Newbie Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2014
Newbie Here
5
Sun, 02-23-2014 - 10:36pm

Hello everyone,

I am new to this board and can just use a little support and guidance. I am feeling alone in this debt freedom battle. DH seems like he is on board but it doesnt bother him as it does me. We are 21, 000 dollars in CC debt and have 46, 000 dollars worth of loans(i.e student loans, personal loan and 401k loan). I am feeling so overwhelmed right now. Over this past weekend i finally sat down and did a mock budget or at least a starter budget. And of course we are short. Its amazing how we have been getting by. I mean we are about 400 short and have probably been this way for awhile. Most of our CC are in collections and running from the calls are getting tiresome. I know part of the answer is getting second jobs but I am concerned with haveing sucky credit I wont be able to get one. And honestly and I know I have to get over myself on this one but I make over 50, 000 a year and my DH makes about 24, 000 a year. A part of me feels like DH needs to step up his game a bit. I know it shouldnt matter who does get a part time as long as it gets done. I am praying for guidance on that one. Any way I just wanted to share my story because honestly I dont feel like i have anyone to talk to about this. I am just not sure where to start. Well thanks for listening i do feel a little better just getting this off my chest and sharing my financial issues with others who could encourage and offer advise from their own experiences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 02-24-2014 - 8:50am

Hell there. You are not alone. Not even close.

When my husband and I met in 2007, I had $30,000 in debt from a divorce and a business with $40,000 in debt, and my husband had $38,000 in student loans. And we lived in an apartment.

We have since gotten married for $2500 bucks(I have two teenage boys) and had a little girl. We have paid off all of our debt, paid for two 5 year old vehicles, I have sold my store and gotten a new job and are about to move into a new home in June. 

Now I'm not going to lie, my husband has doubled his salary and mine has increased as well. The sale of the business has help tremendously but I worked hard to pay off its debts. I bet we lived off less than one salary for 6 years. We are going to need both salaries to make this new house thing work. My budget is currently $200 short every month and sure not every thing is on it either. We  are very lucky to have parents that do most of our baby sitting for free. I am hoping to get a job that is more stable and pays a bit more in my company by the summer but I can't bank on it. The new mortgage payments will start then. I am just saving right now in an account to make sure we can make up the difference for  awhile. I may have to look for another job but hope that does not happen.

What about looking for your husband in the want ads and saying things like "oh you would be good at this!" or "there may be better opportunities here down the line". Say things that are really positive. It may be helpful to pay for a career coach to just give ideas out of the box. I know you don't want to spend money on it but It could be so worth it. Do you have kids? Is a 2nd job feasable? What can you cut in your budget? Can you sell a car and go with one and use public transport? Can you sell something?  collection calls are not fun. You need a big change.

Good luck. Post more details and perhaps we could help with ideas.

You are not alone here. You can do this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 02-24-2014 - 8:52am
Oh course I meant hi there! Sorry about that!
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 02-24-2014 - 5:22pm

Welcome!

The good part is that you and your DH have a decent sized "shovel" to work with.  

Income discrepancy can be a touchy subject, I know.   My DH is self-employed and had a good year last year, which was wonderful, but it accentuated the difference in our earnings.   

I guess it depends if you feel like your DH is really doing all he can to do get the two of you out of debt, regardless of his income.  Is he already working full-time?  Is he friviolous or unthinking when he spends or is he pretty good about not spending too much on odds and ends.  We also have to look at opportunity cost when one or both spouses get a second job.  

Second job or not, chances are good there are areas you could cut back on.  Write down every penny you spend for a month to see where your money really is going.  For me, I can $3 dollar myself to death with coffee or McDonalds for my DD.  

I hope you stick around and as you post more details we can offer up more advice.  The first thing is to quit digging!  

Serenity

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2014
Mon, 02-24-2014 - 9:05pm
Thanks for the encouragement. It is very welcomed and needed. To share a bit more. DH and I have one son together and DH has another son from a previous marriage who stays with his mom. I am trying to get DH to get a basic cell phone instead of his data cell phone. I got rid of my data cell phone some time back. I have to admit it was easier for me because my current job provides an Iphone for me and does allow me to use it for more than just work calls. He said he would but he has not made an attempt yet to my knowledge. The other area is satellite T.V. I want to put it on vacation until we can save enough to pay for terminating it early or to give us enough time to either do part time jobs or better jobs come along. There are a few other things like recurring payment to a website for my son, who only is one it every once in awhile, not mention he is only 6 years old. I have thought about selling stuff. I have a few things but I am not to familiar with how Craig list works so I am a bit hesitate. Anyone experienced with Craig please give tips. DH said he would go through the basement with me and help me sort things out, like keep, donate and sell. I know I will have to remind him. Our cars are paid for and DH actually needs to replace his but no money for that. I pray it can hold out until we can at least get it fixed up or a different beater car. There are a few other things to sell like game systems but I don't think DH will let it go he says he will but I don't know and I kind of feel bad making him give it up, but that is life it comes down to it. So overall I don't have a lot to cut and not to much to sell but it is a start. DH knows the situation and he seems on board. He knows that the place he is at is not going to provide enough and he needs to move on. The bottom line guys DH says the right things. He talks the talks is the walking the walk I am not seeing. But I try to remind myself just because I don't see it doesn't mean he is not doing it. Thanks again everyone this is awesome for me! Having people to share where I am not being eaten up alive inside.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2012
Tue, 02-25-2014 - 11:50am
Hi hopeful! It sounds like you are making a good start! You are reviewing your options and talking with your DH to get on the same page. I understand exactly how you feel about the guilt, because I have the same problem. I always feel guilty for asking others to sacrifice, but the bottom line is that without sacrifice, you might be without a whole lot more! Like a home, or one of your two cars. In comparison, a video game system or internet subscription are minor, and temporary. Digging out of debt is a long battle and hard fought. Ask Norma, who has been digging out since 2008. Her success story is up in the Debt Discussions section. Everyone here has been where you are, in some form or fashion. If you feel comfortable doing so, post your budget details. The ladies here are great at helping crunch the numbers, or finding leaks. Post often! I'm not here as much as I like, but I try to stop in once a week and at least read up! -Jan