update and question?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
update and question?
7
Wed, 03-07-2012 - 9:28pm

Hi everyone, I haven't had a chance to post a lot, mainly due to 3 kids but especially our slow internet.

Things are going well. We caught up with all of our bills due to my leave with our taxes. We were also able to pay down a big chunk on our bathroom loan and it now stands at 4000 which we are trying to get rid of by July. Lastly we qualify for a program to update the windows on our house due to lead and were able to pay our portion of 2500 with our taxes. I am pretty excited about the new windows and am so thankful that we will not have to do all of that work ourselves. Things with my H are going well we are still seeing the therapist and it seems that he is doing the work that he needs to do so far. So, I feel at peace with that.

My question is I was wondering after seeing Marian's post about her husband passing (which my heart goes out to you) what are peoples reccomendations about ways to prepare for the unexpected loss of a spouse. It freaks me out to hear about everything that you have had to deal with. So, any reccomendations would be great. Also, we have the same car situation that they are both in his name. How difficult is that to change? I know that I should really take this serious and research on my own the laws for my state but thought that I would pick your brains also since it will probably be helpful for a lot of people to read.

Thanks in advance!

Liz

student loan paid off 2010

Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013

Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 11:40am

Glad you stopped

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 12:15pm
Good to see you! I have lost track of how many gals on here are having babies. I can't keep up!

I also surprised how many issues MaryAnn is having since she had a will.

Where I get confused is what is a GOOD idea to keep as individuals and what items are a BAD idea to keep individual. The same with joint items...what is a good and idea to keep joint and what is not.

Well, and I hate to say it, after two divorces I find myself having to also ask myself, not about death, but a breakup (not married) or divorce.

You are right that really you have to look into your local laws.

I think part of MaryAnn's issues is the fact that she owns a car but does not drive. Then add to the fact she is at her sons right now.

Me and SO have met with an attorney, but never get a will made up. However, he is the beneficiary on my retirement and one of my checking accounts. (oh, I wonder about my other account?) I also have life insurance, currently with my parents as beneficiaries. I really should trust it to the kids, but for now I trust my mom and have my wishes written down for her.

Anywho, glad you posted.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 6:58pm

Hey Karen, Congrats, that is really exciting about a baby in July. My second is July 16th and she is a very loving Cancer :).

After this bathroom loan is done we will still have our car loan which we had refinanced a big chunk of it but the interest rate is so low and our payments are pretty high that we see a lot of progress quickly.

We do have life insurance through my H's job there is a good chunk and more on him then me b/c he is the employee. So, he would be more up a creek b/c he would have to figure out childcare for work and that is spendy. We also have it on our kids what his job offered which isn't much but enough to cover a funeral (shudder).

We have also done the retirement accounts that go to eachother.

Liz

student loan paid off 2010

Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013

Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 7:03pm

I agree it is really confusing. I wish there was a form

Liz

student loan paid off 2010

Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013

Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:13pm
Its going to vary from State to State but here in California adding my husband as owner to a car I own was very simple just an x on a form and a trip to the DMV. If you still have a car loan you may have to add him to the loan which maybe harder depending on credit etc. Which is why we waited till our car was paid off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sun, 03-11-2012 - 5:19pm

I am sorry if I scared you. It was my idea to take things from joint ownership into his like the car because I have cancer. I was suppose to die not him and I was trying to make it simple for him. Raymond and I were married for over 40 years and things like the house is in both our names with survivorship

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 8:49pm
I realize that you are asking about death of a spouse - my experience is with my mother but was a much better experience than Mary Anne's so I thought I would share to show a different experience. My name was on her checking account and some savings accounts and all I needed to switch the social security number or close accounts and get funds was a copy of the death certificate. This was also true of any accounts where my brother or nephews names were on the accounts. Bills paid from the checking account continued to be paid. For the car, I had been listed on her insurance and I continued to drive it that way until it was time to renew the registration. I needed probate papers and the death certificate and the title to the car (no loan), plus insurance papers. I've known our insurance agent for years, and she was very helpful, as were the people at the Registry of Motor Vehicles. The life insurance was paid promptly after I sent in death certificates - not big policies but the money came through OK. She had a couple of small mutual fund accounts, and those were the most difficult from a paperwork perspective. One wouldn't talk to me without the probate papers. The most difficult part for me was that every time I had to say 'my mother died' I cried a little. I think that made people want to help me but I wanted things to be more professional. It took me almost a year to take care of everything, and I did not need the money to live on, so I didn't have a lot of urgency. On the other hand, I have a tendency to procrastinate and I didn't want that to happen, so I tried to stay on task. And like Maryanne said about her situation, there wasn't a lot of money involved. Settling a complicated estate probably needs professionals. For most of her life, my mother didn't have much money, but she made the most of what she had, and in her later years she had the sense that her life was comfortable. When she pondered what to do with her little extra money, she would always say 'you know, it was easier when I was poor and all I had to died was whether to pay for the lights or the phone'. But she always smiled when she said that. SJ