New here, need to vent

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
New here, need to vent
7
Tue, 07-31-2012 - 2:54pm

I first wanna introduce myself.  My name is Michelle, I have a husband (of 14yrs), and we have 5 children, ranging from 13-3.  My husband got out of active duty military last year (b/c he had to - not getting promoted) and things have been rough job wise/financially, etc.  A little history here...DH was active in the army from '98-'01, he got out and we moved back home and he did national guard.  During that time was somewhat rough as well, at least the first few months until he found a decent job and I got my old job back.  In 2004 we decided together that he would go back to the army and that I would stay home with the kids (we had 2 at the time).  Since then we added in 3 children (total of 5) and last yr (2011) he had to leave active duty since he was at his retention control point...meaning he had put in the maximum amount of active duty time he could in the rank that he was.  He tried and tried to get promoted, but he's a big guy (not fat).  He made it to the promotion board once and was told he needed to be taped again (for BMI) and was denied promotion.  He tried several times after that to make it back to the promotion board, but always was so close, only .5 to 1 percent over then what they wanted.  He was able to go back to national guard and he's trying to stay there so he can at least get to his 20yr mark (only another 5.5 yrs).  Recently he was sent a letter from the state saying that they wanted to chapter him out.  He's in the process of appealing that.  We use the health ins. through the guard b/c it's much cheaper that way then through his job.  Not to mention I really hate to see all those yrs wasted in the military.

Right now things are very rough financially.  He has a job, but it doesn't pay that well.  I have applied at a few places that are close to us to try and work in the evening, but not having much luck.  We can't afford to pay a babysitter so my times are limited as to when I could even work.  We are renting a 4 bedroom house, b/c we aren't allowed any smaller due to our family size, and the rent is killing us.  As of now we are short $250 to make our rent payment for next month.  We could borrow the money from my husband's father, but we've borrowed before (and paid it back) and I really don't wanna keep doing that.  I don't even wanna think about next month.  School will be starting and I still have to get some more school supplies and shoes, our electric bill is large, plus all the other bills we have to pay.  We have exhausted all our savings.  I have listed some things to sell, but not having a lot of luck with that either.   They aren't big ticket items either, just small stuff to try and get some extra cash.  Thankfully we have no debt, but we have no credit cards either to fall back on (good thing and bad thing), however, this is due to the fact that we had to file for bankruptcy back in 2007 (we had a house included in that as well). 

My husband has put in his resume at lots of places too.  He even was offered a position with the railroad in Dec of last yr but his medical eval. was taking too long so they rescinded their offer.  They keep wanting to put him in a supervisory position at his job, but so far nothing is coming of it.  Oh, and the VA is still in the processing of completing his compensation claim (been since last April).  It's just one thing after another!

I'm just so frustrated.  It seems we haven't been able to catch a break...especially my husband, job wise.  I can only imagine how he feels!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2001
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 3:52pm

Welcome Michelle!

I'm glad that you came to vent; I must admit that I do quite a bit of it myself lately.

First of all, I must tell  you that I know very little about life in the services; my DH had done his duty and finished just before we met.  I do know that  the Army kept him longer than they were supposed to, because he was the best tank mechanic they had ever had, up until that time.  They sent his mother a letter about it, which I have now.  The family found it among his parent's papers after they had died.  He and one of his buddies were held longer in Germany (4th Inf. Cold War) than they were supposed to be.  The Company moved out for home and left the two of them behind.  They had no orders except to follow orders from the next Company Commander.   They were there months longer, and kept asking "When do we go home?"  The buddy went down to the clerk's (or whatever it's called) office, and found their orders in a trash can! 

Frankly, I wouldn't hold my breath until you can get help from the Army!  It seems that they  are willing enough to hold the service men and women in the fire as long as they can; then it's GoodBye!  Oops!  A bit of a vent there!

Well, DH is calling I have to say TTFN!

 

pinchpenny2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:16am

Wow, that is a lot of bad luck job wise.

Hopefully he finds something better soon! So far as you finding a job... Have you checked in on local rec centers or gyms?? A lot of those places look for people to work in their daycare centers and allow you to bring your children with you.  It doesn't pay a lot but it could help a little.

Also, vent away!! This is a great place for support and can be helpful for ideas (when it's active).

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 12:20am

Thanks for the response!  DH was assigned to the 4th Inf Div when we were stationed at Ft Hood. lol

Venting seems to be what I feel like doing alot of lately, unfortunately.

 


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Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 12:21am
I know! That's what is so frustrating. I honestly hadn't thought of rec centers or gyms. I will have to look into that. Thanks for the tip!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2001
Wed, 08-08-2012 - 8:18pm

:smileywink:I know that I seem to keep harping on this subject, but if you haven't read the board before, it will be new to you.  Do y ou or your DH have any skills or talants that might be turned into a small 'at home' business?  I've had to make a business to get some cash flow.  So much of this does depend on community needs or wants, but if you can find a niche, do it.  You mention your lovely children, is there something that a one time you wished you could improve, or make to fill a need? 

DH Calling again!  TTFN 

]

pinchpenny2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 6:12pm

Sure thing!!

I work with a bunch of moms at my gym and quite a few bring their little ones for at least part of the shift.  My little one will also come with me sometimes for parts of a shift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2001
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:49pm
Michelle, it has been a little while since you posted. How are things? Are you having any luck with jobs etc.?
pinchpenny2000