Wednesday Wishes and/or Woes

When I was very little I liked Christmas, but unfortunately in my family it was never a happy time so the hatred of Christmas began when I was really young, maybe around 10. I just realized that there was no point in getting excited or participating in all the festivities because I'd just end up disappointed. And I'm not talking about presents. Sure there are always things to want, but considering how poorly my family functioned the presents were the least of my concerns. Christmas for me was physically and emotionally exhausting, miserable, stressful, and often terrifying and then I'd have to return to school and put on an act for all of my friends and teachers like I had this fabulous time and things were great. They weren't and they were never going to be. Now as an adult I just have no tolerance for it. I don't want any Christmas in my house and I don't attend every holiday party I'm invited to. I don't go overboard buying gifts, I don't send cards, and I'm often easily irritated and noticeably grouchy. When people ask about my plans I just mention a quiet dinner with immediate family and volunteer service so they'll shut up and stop asking. My energy reserve to pretend I like Christmas depleted as a kid and I just figure that's the end of it. My mom is still this Christmas nut and that's fine, but she knows not to ask me to get into it. If she wants to do a dinner that's fine, but that's it. I've actually been working at improving my finances so that I can start to vacation this time of year every year so I can skip it completely, maybe even through new years. Getting my Master's degree is a big part of that puzzle and if things keep going well I may actually be able to start skipping Christmas next year. I'm hoping to get to a point where I can plan my skipping Christmas vacation every January so that when I finally meet Mr. Right I don't have to bother doing Christmas with his family and he can have the whole year to accept the fact that I already planned my vacation and am looking forward to it. It'd be great if he wasn't into Christmas either and wanted to skip it with me, but I realize that's unlikely.