2's a Crowd, 3's a handful
A little back story, we started w/ a stray Izzy, she was great, about 9 months later we got Milo, thinking they'd play, and my husband wanted a cat. Now 2 1/2 year later Izzy and Milo have gradually started to tolerate each other, with Milo still being fairly aggressive with her. So we decided to add a 3rd...A playful, cat friendly cat who would take Milo's attention away from Izzy, but be nice enough to Izzy to leave her alone. That was about 3 weeks ago. We have noticed Jetta, the new cat occasionally chasing Izzy, the oldest cat, but there isn't any screaming, and Izzy rebounds fairly quickly. Personally, I don't think Jetta is being mean, she wants to play. The husband has brought up the "R" word...Re-homing for either Izzy, or the other 2 because he doesn't want Izzy to be miserable and fearful her whole life. I don't want that either, but I also am no where near the place of thinking of re-homing a cat or 2. I think we need to give it time, and really don't think it is going badly at all. I just ordered the Feliway diffuser, and have tossed around the idea of that stuff you put in the water for calming cats. Anybody have any other suggestions?
I think that most of the time cats will work out their differences themselves, but they do need to be introduced to each other slowly and in small steps. That does make a big difference. There are times to that some cats just don't get along with others. Since it's only been 3 weeks since you brought Jetta home, I would give them more time. It would be a good idea to put Jetta in her own room when you aren't around to watch her to make sure that she isn't picking on Izzy. I have had it take 6 months or longer for cats to get used to each other where they will at least tolerate each other so just a few weeks isn't enough time. The Feliway diffuser should help. I have never had any luck with the Rescue Remedy or things like that you can put in their water. It's not too expensive so it would be worth a try.
Feliway diffuser is plugged in, and I think that is helping some. I convinced the husband to chill and not discuss things for a few months. Feeding them is still a "fun"situation as Jetta, the new cat, is a P.I.G. Milo and Jetta love to play with Da Bird so they are usually waiting in the basement for me when I come home. I try to wear them out. Then when they're passed out Izzy gets frisky. Thanks for the help! I also got Cat Wrangling Made Easy. I read a little of that when I discover a new issue.
Sounds like you have a plan. I agree with taking a step back....it can be so frustrating but not every introduction goes quickly or smoothly.
I haven't heard of that book but may have to look into it. There are also some great new food puzzles they are creating for cats that help with feeding. From elaborate to affordable, they look interesting.
Keep us posted on their progress....