Giving up my baby boy is breaking my heart... Long post
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|Mon, 09-17-2012 - 9:37pm|
We got second cat in April and last Sunday I gave him away cos he attacked our other cat Missy. I feel so terrible and can't stop crying, feels like I let him down and didn't give him a chance. Missy is 5yrs 9months and was raised as a kitten from 4weeks old. She is very spoiled and is treated like our baby, we got a second because we can't go on holidays together she gets depressed in a cattery and when I find a full time job she would be home by herself. I wanted her to have a companion and feel secure when she goes in to a cattery with another cat. We got him from the RSPCA shelter. He is a 3 1/2 yr old tonk+ragdoll grey very big boy he was surrendered because his owner didn't have time for him and later when I called they were like the surrender reason also says he was not a good fit with the family. We named him Pretty Ricky and he responds to Ricky.
Ricky was in the laundry for 2 weeks but after a week I open the door so he can see Missy and get to know each other. Missy is a very picky puss she doesn't like female cats use to pick fights when we let her outdoors. She loves boy cats only ones who are shy and not dominating. I once bought a start home she was 9yr old female and kept her in the laundry for one day Missy hated it bit me and did not go anywhere near the laundry. But with Ricky she showed a good reaction towards Ricky they would kiss each other through the door and Missy would swipe at him at times. One day in the evening Ricky had got out of laundry and we found them both in our bedroom sitting on the carpet looking at each other. We let be together the first 2 weeks it was 2 good to be true no fights.Ricky wants to play with Missy but she is scared cos he is so big and she got bitten by another cat early this year so she is scared to have ricky come closer. She used to be playful but since Ricky came she would watch him and would occasionally play and sometimes they would start playing but it ends in a fight when Missy gets scared.
Ricky chases Missy and she hisses and mews even before he lays a paw on her to defend herself and raises the alarm to rescue her. When not looking ricky would back her in to a corner she is scared to go near ricky he would hurt her but she is scared. Ricky took missy's spots except the bed we didn't let ricky in to our bedroom at night he used to sleep in spare bedroom bed cos they used to fight in the night. It's not like they can't stand each other there were times they would do their own thing look for each other when one is not in sight. Ricky is big enough to pin Missy down bite her but he didn't. After one month when we were able to picked him up we noticed ricky had a rash on his tummy. The vet diagnosed as an insect bite first and then it got better he licked it came back the third trip to the vet he was on a flea trial and he was prescribed prednisolone from the second visit and third. He was on prednisolone and had to wear a basket to prevent him licking. His aggression at times could be due to medication and he get bored quickly. He was becoming a good cat. He hasn't been loved a lot cos he wasn't used to stroking picking up but was getting used to it and loving it.
On sunday we were out I heard a cat fight when I came in Missy's fur was lying through the hallway and she was lying on the ground and Ricky was intimidating her by giving her his death looks. We tried giving him so many times couldn't cos he has become part of family and I had faith things will get better and it was though they fought on a off. missy was terrified breathing heavily and she has started grooming herself a lot and ripping her fur off. I got scared and made the choice to give him back to RSPCA. He didn't want to go in the carrier tried to be the best didn't scratch me when forced him in. Regret giving him when I took him they said he was adopted from a cat rescue so he never got a chance to be loved have a home that's why he is insecure if I knew all this I would have tried harder. Missy is happy he is gone comes to our laps rubs on us but I though she is spoiled will eventually get over learn to accept Ricky as time goes by. I called the shelter he is still in quarantine and will have behavior assessment to check suitability for adoption.
Things haven't been the same for me I miss Ricky so much he used to be a mamma's boy followed me around the house would sit in the bench near sink till I do dishes would come running when I call his name (missy never ever come when we call her) I feel like I overreacted I didn't even look at him cos that would change my mind I feel like I should have kept him punished him by putting him in his room for few hours. It is so hard to move on I put away his bowls toys but I still can hear him mewing feel like he is around me. When he was up for adoption my hubby was overseas on a holiday so we had to wait 24 days till he came so he could drive us there to get him. I call every week to make sure he is there and even prayed if he is meant to be ours let him still be there. I don't whether me picking him was the wrong choice or giving him was the wrong choice. My hubby says if I am so sad we will get him back and he too feels we overreacted should given it time and we both miss him and cry together. Then there is Missy who seems happy I am torn in between all I wanted is both of them to be happy and for us 4 to be family.
Has anyone been in a situ like this? I don't know what to do should I let him go? It is so hard will I ever move away from the guilt or will I be miserable for the rest of my life? Any advice appreciated