I can't take my cats with me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
I can't take my cats with me...
43
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 2:56pm
I'm planning on moving to CT in December, and last night I asked my bf (who I'll be living with) how he felt about having them around. He said he didn't want to live with cats. I'd only have 2, but he's against it. He doesn't hate cats, he just doesn't want to live with them. But I love my babies, and I don't want them to think I've abandoned them. I can't leave em with my mom cause she's tired of em, my dad and stepmom already have 3 dogs, my older sister hates cats (and pretty much any kind of animal), our closet friend already has 2 cats (one is a sibling of my youngest cat), and I do -not- want to give them to the animal shelter. And I don't want to give them to just anybody. What should I do?

Pages

Avatar for rhawk4
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2001
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:30pm

I may have my head chewed off for this response…


<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

David and the CoolCyberCats


Forever in my heart


Enter YOUR Cool Cat! A winner each month! 

Cats nap, only humans put them to sleep: Sterilize, don't euthanize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:33pm
I agree with rhawk! I would never abandon my pets for a man..or woman..LOL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 5:08pm

I agree with rhawk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 5:21pm

*WELCOME* to Cats Stormdancer.

Cat =^..^=
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 5:50pm
We should've warned you that here at the Cats board we feel very strongly about our kitties. They are family members, not pets. We would never think of giving them up for any reason. But, of course, not everyone feels as strongly as we do. Your decision is yours to make.

You could foster your kitties yourself and interview potential adoptive fur-parents. You could even do home inspections. Call one of your local NO-KILL animal groups and see what they recommend for placing your kitties in a good home.

Bridgett, Badness, Scrappy and Tucker

Ps. My motto is "love me, love my cats"


Edited 10/14/2004 6:01 pm ET ET by arista1986

Avatar for cl_lcni
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 5:58pm

Hi Stormdancer.


Photobucket

Avatar for rhawk4
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2001
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 7:14pm

My reply was not because it happened to involve cats, though that makes it more solid. If I had a girlfriend she would know me and what I have, like and do. If, for example right before we moved in with each other she told me she hated computers and that she does not want me to set one up, or to play any video games.... Same applies. How can she really care about me for what and who I am when she expects me to stop using something I really enjoy?


I think stormdancer19

David and the CoolCyberCats


Forever in my heart


Enter YOUR Cool Cat! A winner each month! 

Cats nap, only humans put them to sleep: Sterilize, don't euthanize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 8:47pm
Wow, ok...while I agree with the other posters, I also think it's a bit harsh. Obviously rhawk loves both her boyfriend and her kitties and it IS a hard decision to make. I was lucky enough to move in with my boyfriend and convince him to let me get kitties (mine had disappeared not long before) even though he is allergic to them and doesn't really like them. He has learned to love them though. :) So, rhawk...I guess my advice is to talk to him about it and like the previous poster said...see if you can compromise, because that is what a relationship is all about...there should be plenty of give AND take, not just one person giving up everything for the other. If he is REALLY against the cats, he needs to give something he loves very much up also...just use your head on this one and good luck to you!!!!!

-Sadie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 11:24pm
Hi,

I, too, agree with rhawk. Adopting a pet is a permanent commitment, like adopting or giving birth to a child. You are getting some very important information about your boyfriend, that may be difficult to see if you are full of emotion about him, and maybe haven't had some bad experiences with other boyfriends. It is a red flag that he can disregard your love of your cats and insist you give them up. In a healthy relationship, there should be respect and understanding for what the other person loves and values. He should care about you being happy and what makes you happy. And you should value yourself enough o hold out for someone who loves you and your pets and cares about what makes you happy.

Cynthia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 7:57am
I'm sorry but I agree. If he can't accept your cats, what else will he ask you to give up?

I was lucky enough to fall in love with a man who loves his and all cats. He likes dogs also, but cats are his chosen. He even reminds me of a cat sometimes.

For this reason, we are much closer that I was with my Ex. My Ex was ok with cats, but he wouldn't have more than one at a time.

My Father always hated cats when I was growing up, But we got him to let my Mom have one of our babies. You can even catch him rubbing the cat. She if you really love someone, you let them have what they really want, especially when they are attached.

Just do one thing, consider how long you have been with your cats, how much you love them... Then think about your BF and how long you've been together...

Who has been more loyal, who loves you unconditionally?

Not that you should live alone with the cats all your life, but just make sure you are really doing the right thing for you. If he really means more to you than your cats, then just look for a good home for them, and don't separate them. It will be hard enough on them to lose you, let alone to lose each other also.

Just think about it, before you decide, OK?

Pages