I can't take my cats with me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
I can't take my cats with me...
43
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 2:56pm
I'm planning on moving to CT in December, and last night I asked my bf (who I'll be living with) how he felt about having them around. He said he didn't want to live with cats. I'd only have 2, but he's against it. He doesn't hate cats, he just doesn't want to live with them. But I love my babies, and I don't want them to think I've abandoned them. I can't leave em with my mom cause she's tired of em, my dad and stepmom already have 3 dogs, my older sister hates cats (and pretty much any kind of animal), our closet friend already has 2 cats (one is a sibling of my youngest cat), and I do -not- want to give them to the animal shelter. And I don't want to give them to just anybody. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 8:23am
I AGREE YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE YOUR CATS. IF SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT IT WOULD OUT THE DOOR WITH THEM. IF HE ASK YOU THIS AND YOU GIVE IN HE WELL START ASKING YOU TO GIVE OTHER THINGS. HE KNOW YOU HAD CAT BEFORE THIS SO WHATS THE BIG DEAL. JOANN
Avatar for rhawk4
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2001
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:15am

Cynthia,


Thank you for wording it better. I am not very good at wording or verbalizing my thoughts all the time. :)


David and the CoolCyberCats


Forever in my heart


Enter YOUR Cool Cat! A winner each month! 

Cats nap, only humans put them to sleep: Sterilize, don't euthanize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:39am
I'm with you. The guy is probally a control freak. If a pet is very important to you and your sother doesn't see this, care about your feelings, that is a problem. I would never consider giving up my cats. I'm very emotionally attached to them. Hopefully stormdancer 19 will find the kitties a great home. I'm glad she is concerned about their safety.

donna
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:21pm
He said he didn't mind visiting a place that had cats, he just didn't want to live with him. I'm not offended, you just spoke what was on your mind. I understnad what you're saying. I sent him an email a moment ago, and here it is.

K,

I want to talk to you tonight about Socks and Hunter. They're my babies and I don't want to give them up. If you really do love me, you would understand that, and see how difficult it is for me to give up something I love. If I asked you to give up sushi before I would live with you, would you do it? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to. Please just think about it and tell me exactly why you don't want to live with them.

J

If he's still against living with them, I suppose I'd do what someone else said and "foster" them out. I would hate to do it, but I do love him. But I'm not just going to give them up without a fight. He does have to understand that if he gets me, he gets everything that comes with me. I've always wanted a few animals, and if he can't deal with that, well, his loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:34pm
*sighs* And heres his reply (he was on the compy when I sent the email)


I can't handle the fur or the smell--both of

which get on your clothes whether you want them

to or not, regardless of what you do to prevent

it. People with animals are like people who smoke

in that they are so used to it that they honestly

think it really doesn't smell that bad. But I

just can't handle it. It's not the animals

themselves (I like them) and I'm not trying to be

a pain, I just can't handle fur or smell. And

yes, if I had to decide between you and sushi, it

would be you (without a blink).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 2:11pm
I am sorry but I would dump him! How can you compare sushi to a pet! There is a spray that you can spray on the fur also. I do not smell anything and I have always had pets!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 3:08pm

David, when you're right, you're right.

Avatar for javaaddict
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 3:28pm
I agree with the other people .. Giving up cats is a hard thing .. Myu past 2 boyfriends did not like cats at all and it was very hard to get it through to them how much I loved my cat .. I am very lucky to have found my current boyfriend who likes cats and will aceept little boy for what he is .. I say ditch the creep
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 3:45pm
We may have scared her away with all our neg responses!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 7:13pm
A friend I have has a jealous, control freak of a husband. He made her give her dog away, is jealous of her family, jealous of her computer, friends, family. Its something different with him every week. He didn't show this when they were dating. Anything she does-he looks at it as her putting something before him. She now asks him what he wants for supper, when she should do so and so, like she can't think. He tries to control when she gets up, goes to bed ect...she will not leave him. I don't feel sorry for her because she had a full time job, family willing to help her ect...she is also subjecting her kids (one by him) to this mentally unstable man. I think she likes the fighting and attention. Another lady I was talking to in an Antique Store said her husband was like that, made her give her dog away, and she told me (a stranger) that she would never forgive him. This is an older couple. Both of these women married men 10 yrs. or so older than them. What I take offense to are the words "made me" "let me" As an adult no one should control you and if they do its because you are letting them. As for the girl here telling her story, she may be

putting her boyfriend before her love of her cat, but she is trying to find a solution and a new safe home for the cat, that is very good of her. I wish her luck with everything! donna