I can't take my cats with me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
I can't take my cats with me...
43
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 2:56pm
I'm planning on moving to CT in December, and last night I asked my bf (who I'll be living with) how he felt about having them around. He said he didn't want to live with cats. I'd only have 2, but he's against it. He doesn't hate cats, he just doesn't want to live with them. But I love my babies, and I don't want them to think I've abandoned them. I can't leave em with my mom cause she's tired of em, my dad and stepmom already have 3 dogs, my older sister hates cats (and pretty much any kind of animal), our closet friend already has 2 cats (one is a sibling of my youngest cat), and I do -not- want to give them to the animal shelter. And I don't want to give them to just anybody. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:17am
If you say that it is your plan as a couple to move around a lot and travel, then PLEASE make sure your cats find loving homes with someone who won't abandon them at the first sign of a complication.

Look, I understand that people have to make tough decisions all the time. This is a tough one for you and it is even further complicated by love and the inevitable loss of it (either from your cats or from your boyfriend). It makes sense to you that the cats would be the easiest out. But what you said: "You all don't know him like I do," is so cliche. We don't know the individual person, but between us, I'm sure that we have enough experience to be excellent judges of character. And that counts for a lot. But, as with most people who ask for advice and refuse to listen to the advice given...you are going to have to figure this one out yourself and deal with the consequences later. Our main concern, AS CAT LOVERS, is to make sure your cats don't have to suffer or be neglected because of your choices.

The last thing I will say about your relationship is that, to truly be a loving relationship, there has to be UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I would never settle for anything less. And personally, I think your cats would offer this to you more than your boyfriend ever will from the sounds of it. And how could someone you love just say one day, "by the way, your cats have to go if we are going to move in together." Didn't you see any warning signs!? Geez!

I hope you really will have them placed in homes and not leave it up to some shelter to (supposedly) do it for you. They are going to go through enough stress as it is. They need love, not a cold cage behind bars.

And yes, you CAN tell a lot about people who don't want to be around animals. It doesn't make them "bad" people, but it does say something about their ability to love, nurture, sympathize, and care for another being UNCONDITIONALLY.

Avatar for cl_lcni
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:24am

You have to do what you think is best for you and your cats. If your bf has already made his mind up he doesn't like the cats, then that's going to be a problem right off.


Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2002
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:34pm

I just want to say I agree with everyone that my cats are my family & I'd give them up for no one.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 3:08pm

stick to you guns! this will go way beyond a cat issue one of these days IF you tolerate it.. this is what I want my headstone to say when it is time:


 

Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 12:02am

Hi there,


I was reading thru all the responses and I have to say I agree with everyone that you should not give up your babies for someone who you don't even know if you will or will not have a future with. Just being honest.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:05am
To those of you who gave positive comments, thank you. I'm just doing what I think is best for them.

To those of you who still say it's not a good idea, K and I will be working long hours and they would be by themselves for most of the day, and I'm sure they'd be plenty bored, which isn't good for any animal. Plus, what would I do with them when we do start to travel? We'd only be in one place for a few months then we'd be on the road again. Living like that would put them under a lot of stress and who knows what might happen to them? They could get lost in some foreign country (when I say travel, I mean around the world, not just around the country), or pick up some strange disease, or... you get the idea. I am looking for a loving home to put them in, and I don't want to separate them if at all possible. And putting them in a shelter is a big, huge NO! They've already been in a shelter for a few days (thanks to our evil animal/children hating neighbors), and I would put myself behind bars before I put them behind 'em on purpose. Yes, I love my cats, and thats why I'm doing this instead of throwing them onto the streets to make their own way. I want what's best for -them-.

@ maibrat... He's not jealous about my family or friends (besides the fact that I don't really have friends anyway... but that has nothing to do with him). He's fine with small animals (i.e. hamsters, voles...), he just isn't into the bigger ones like cats. I don't hate him for not being a cat person, I've got family members who don't like cats either (my older sister thinks cats are disgusting... she's said that a few times, but she's not a bad person).

It's just a matter of taste. The sight of a spider creeps me out, but there are people in this world who love them. I'm simply doing what I think is best for my kitties.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:07am

If you would have mentioned ALL of this in your FIRST post, the responses I'm sure would have been way different.

Cat =^..^=
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 7:49am

okay, my cats do NOT smell. they don't. if anything I smell clean smells on them. Like if I just wash my comforter and they lay on it all I can smell is Downy.. I may smell Angel's breathe on her after washing sometimes,but believe me humans smell a hell of lot worse... I am sure he must have his moments... *shaking head*. this just doesn't sound good to me. good luck Stormdancer19. I will keep you in my prayers.. If my dh said me or the cats, guess what? he be packing! I would tell him, "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."


hugs,

Ann


"The best thing you can save for your future is your soul"

 

Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 11:09am
When I typed my first post, I was too upset to really think about it, but now that I've calmed down, it really is the best thing to let them go. I've had time to think about it and I'm not upset anymore. I was just upset... thats why I didn't mention the traveling, because all I was thinking about was not being able to have my kitties with me when I moved. But I'm calm now, and I'm thinking rationally. And I've made the decision to find them a home that would be able to take care of them better than I could if I had them with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:18pm
Oh believe me, I totally agree with you. Love me, love my cats.