Itchy, Leo and depression
I am pretty much at my lowest right this second. Itchy was discharged about 6pm and is home. He is scared and a bit too lethargic for my tastes, but me is as okay as can be expected with all that is wrong with him right now. Normally I would have kept him in the bedroom with me because we just came out of the hospital, but this evening I decided that he would be happier if I allowed him to have run of the house. So I took Leo into the bedroom (since he and Itchy cannot be left alone) and Hamlet and went to bed. About 1:15am I was suddenly awoken by Leo, who was laying against my right side having a grand-mal seizure. I always get so upset when he has one. There is nothing I can do but watch him and talk softly to him in hopes he hears me and feels better. It lasted at least a full minute after I woke before he relaxed a bit. Once it was over I moved him on a towel and took all the blankets off the bed to wash. Then I laid next to him and brushed him and told him how special he is to me.
By the time I took out my notebook to help keep me occupied while I washed the blankets, I realized the date. Today is my father’s birthday (he died in September). Just more fuel for the horrible week I guess. So now I am just sitting here with Leo, feeling even worse than before. I also assume I will not be sleeping much tonight and will be fairly nonfunctional at work later. *sigh*
I am once again feeling like my life is being singled out somehow and just want to have a few days reprieve to catch my breath and lower my stress. I guess I am asking for too much.