Now what do I do
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| Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:17am |
Ok. This is probably going to sound bad, but I'm upset, so I need to vent...and it's all about cats. I decided to get a kitten, which I've stated before. I've always wanted to have 3 cats. I have selected a cat rescue organization that is local to my town, I've researched them and talked with the founder. I emailed them yesterday, to set up an appointment to see all the kittens they have. I've bought some of what I need for this kitten. The plan is to get the kitten around 6/10.
Here's the thing. I had mentioned to some family members what my plan is. Why? Because I have a big mouth and will tell anyone anything. My cousin's wife (also a cat lover), hinted around that her aunt had a cat with kittens. Now, I had decided I wanted to get a kitten from a rescue place, because a rescue place would have tested them for all the evil diseases that it could pass on to my girls. Besides that, my cousin's wife's aunt (there's a connection for you)...she has cats that she hasn't had spayed or neutered. Hello? Get them fixed. So when my cousin's wife started the hinting, I didn't respond.
So this morning, I get an email from this girl. She and my cousin have adopted one of her aunt's kittens, and she wants to know if I'll take the female kitten. She said it's feline leukemia free (which she knew I was concerned about), and if I don't take her, she'll become an outside cat.
So now what do I do? I feel like I'm being strong-armed into taking that kitten. It's messing with my plans, which I hate. I was really looking forward to supporting this rescue organization. And I was looking forward to seeing a bunch of kittens and picking the one that interacts with me the best. But I feel incredibly guilty, like if I don't take the kitten, I'm signing its death warrant. I have to make my decision without seeing the cat, because the minute I see it, my heart will melt. I'm pissed off, and I don't know what to do.
** Noelle


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Well, here's my two cents. I agree with Rena and Cat in that I would refuse to be pressured into taking a kitten from your cousin's wife. She needs to discuss with her aunt the importance of spaying and neutering her cats.
Guilt is a very interesting process and I have learned over the year's that it's like a dance between the parties. I would choose to sit this one out if I were you. No one makes you feel guilty, you take that on yourself. First of all, you can't and none of us can save all of the unwanted pets in the world. When I was managing kennels and pet stores I had to learn this early as I no matter how much I wanted to take them all home I couldn't. Cat I'm sure knows this only too well.
We only can do the best we can do while not wreaking havoc to our finances by taking on more pets than we can afford or the emotional well being of our existing furbabies by upsetting their world with a pet that may not be a good "fit" into the heirarchy so to speak. That being said I agree that when choosing another kitten you need to have a choice, so that optimally you can choose one with a personality that will blend with your existing family. Taking a kitten or puppy sight unseen is not a really good way to proceed when you're adding to an existing household.
Additionally, I have learned over the year's through a lot of angst that you don't need to justify your answer of "No, I'm sorry but I can't do that" to anyone. No, is no and it doesn't need explanation. If they can't respect that, frankly that's their problem.
Sorry, if that sounds rude but as you get older the games become less important.
I also agree with other's statement that you just say no and advise them to either post an ad or surrender the kitten to the nearest no kill shelter or SPCA. You could even supply them with the name, address and number. This is their responsibility and one they've chosen by refusing to spay and neuter their cats.
I also agree with Rena in that I am totally comitted to my kitties being strictly indoor only. However, having to live outside while not optimal dependent on the location of where they live is not an automatic death sentence. They are using that to attempt to manipulate you and that's just flat out wrong!
Please don't feel guilty and follow your heart and do what's best for Annie and Chalimar.
Be strong, Lynn
Well, I emailed her back, and I said that I don't think I can do it. I explained that I don't know anything about the kitten, and that I can't expose my girls to any potential risks with a clear conscience. I also told her that I've already spent a month emailing the founder of the local rescue organization about adopting from them. And...I let her know that I've been making myself sick about this all day, and have been on a major guilt trip over it. I don't think that was her intention, so I wanted to let her know that's what happened.
So, we'll see. Thanks for all the input from everyone. I don't feel great about this decision, but I feel it's the best one for my kitties. Adopting a kitten is like deciding to have another child. So much angst.
** Noelle
I know this was such a tough decision for you.
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