6 months tomorrow ,March 15th

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
6 months tomorrow ,March 15th
9
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 7:43pm









To my pup:

Avatar for cl_mosmomcarol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 5:19pm

(((^Barkley's^ Mom)))


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 6:00pm

Hi Carol


Thank you for your words, today has been a hard day for me, its funny because when I would tell myself he has been gone 1 month, 2 months etc I could deal with that but for some reason just saying he has been gone 6months,half a year is hitting me like a punch in the stomach...been a long 6months.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:31pm
Hello Dear Barkley's Mom:
I cannot believe it is six months since your dear one left you, but time has no meaning for us who grieve our beloved pets. Your letter is lovely and so touching and I know your sadness never goes away. The tears can subside, but the furbabies remain in our hearts and we cannot forget them. Their spirits are everywhere and haunt us, but in a more bittersweet way as time goes by. You know one day you will see dear Barkley again and be reunited in the peace of heaven, but now we are on earth and cannot touch our furbabies and it hurts - but we have to believe they can see us and that they do feel our presence. They are OK!!!!
I was in a store parking lot the other day and sitting in a car next to mine was the spitting image of my little Nikki. She looked lovingly at me and jumped up to the window and I just wanted to get at her and pick her up - she was the reincarnation of Nik - but I had to leave her be as she was not mine any more. I cannot forget that image and all the sadness of her passing came back full force, as if it were yesterday not well over a year. So far, time is not the healer I expected it to be.
So dear Stillbelieves, I do feel for you and think of you and the pain you are suffering.
May God continue to give you strength to carry on, and hopefully one day you will live in peace with all the good memories of your happy life with Barkley to sustain you.
Warmest wishes and hugs,
Marge
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:49pm

Hi Marge,


I cant even imagine the pain you must of felt from seeing that dog that looked just like your Nikki. that would of ripped my heart out. I thought by now I would feel a little bit better but i don't.


The pain I feel in my heart is constant and now that its getting nice out I keep thinking how much Barkley loved to sit outside in the sun.


Barkley made this house a home,now its just a house, empty and quiet. He has left such a huge void in my life that it overwhelms me .


for some reason i am having a hard time dealing with him being gone 6 months,its seems like such a long time but yet it seems like yesterday that he passed.


His things are in the same place as they were 6months ago. when I even think about putting his bed, toys etc away

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 7:17pm
Hello Again:
Take heart , you are not alone on this site, we all know how it feels to be left alone in this 'living' world without our lost fur-babes. Outside here however, one IS alone and non-pet lovers just do not understand how we can feel so bad so long after the passing of our pets. I do not understand it myself and feel so guilty that I do not grieve like this for my poor mother. I accept she is gone and understand she is out of pain and in a peaceful place now until we meet again.
Many pet lovers get another pet and that seems to work for them, but to me Nik was the only one and I can't forget her. Now there are not the tears, but a deep and constant hole in my heart that cannot be filled by anything else. The emptiness is always below the surface ready to be resurrected when I am reminded of her by situations or dogs etc, etc.
I did get rid of all Nikki's things immediately after she died thinking it was the right thing to do to kill the pain of her loss. I just kept a few mementos, now in a frame, that I see every time I pass it on a shelf, and feel a warm kind of sadness when I go by. Perhaps one day you might try putting all Barkley's things in one place so that they are not visible all the time, to reduce the number of sadness 'triggers'??? I find Nikki's framed items are a kind of shrine to her that I can see when I need to talk with her and also as a reminder of what she looked like and who she was. I tend with time to forget details of exactly what she looked like, and need to be reminded. Seeing the dog in the car was so devastating as it was not a flat photo but a real living thing that I felt able to pick up and experience.
{But I did not, :-(( }
One day you will get to the stage of quiet sadness, but as you say the pain never goes away.
I wonder too how Tiffy is these days?? If she reads our posts, I wish her peace and love too.
So we soldier on with only our memories of happier days.
Hugs, Marge
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 8:01pm

Hi Marge,


I know what you mean about feeling guilty because we did not grieve this bad for family members who have passed. My brother passed away in May of 2007 from cancer at age 52. When he passed I really could not allow myself to grieve because my mom needed me to help her get through the loss of her son,so I basically pushed my grief deep within myself to be able to help her cope. BUT then when Barkley passed I think all of the grief I had not dealt with when my brother died came to the surface when Barkley passed. I have lost people in my life before and felt sad but I have NEVER felt so devastated as I did when Barkley passed. Maybe its because we tell ourselves that people know what is going on around them when they are going to pass

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2008
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 12:11pm
Hi:
First I am so sorry to hear about the terrible loss of your brother - at such a young age too. That must have been very painful for you and your mother. Perhaps you are right and the sadness of Barkley's loss was made much worse by the pent up pain of your brother's passing. Now they are both happily enjoying 'life' across the Rainbow Bridge and are comforting each other.
I too didn't know when I took Nik to the Vet that it was so serious, just a dose of medication and all would be well I thought. It was shattering to have her gone in 3 days, so I do understand your feelings after the sudden loss. One minute they are just a little under the weather and then they are no longer with us. Usually with humans we have a lot more notice of the impending doom and are more ready to accept what happens?
I am so shocked and sad to hear about poor Tiffy. Please give her my love and good wishes for a speedy recovery, and tell her I am always thinking of her. Since Nik died I have had all kinds of health issues including constant IBS and abdominal nerve pain, that no doc can find a reason for or cure. The mind can really do a number on our bodies and it has ways of disabling us to help kill the mental anguish. I do not think docs really understand or accept that fact. I am not suggesting that Tiffy does not have some definable (and hopefully a temporary and curable!) disease, but has she seriously looked at Shrinks and depression/anxiety medicines?? I have found that Xanax has helped me a lot with the pain issues. Just a thought. I feel so bad for Tiffy that this has happened and sincerely wish her well.
My what these little furballs can do to us when they leave us alone.
Please keep in touch about yourself and Tiffy - I feel we will always have a common bond through our little dogs.
Love and hugs, Marge
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 3:57pm

Big hugs to you Connie. I am Shelly and I lost my best friend Missy on October 21st, 2008. She would have turned 15 on October 31st, 2008, and that was such a rough day for me. It has been about a year and a half since I lost Missy, and I agree with you, I miss her more and more everyday. You would think that I would be better about it since some time has passed, but I'm not.

It's ok to grieve as long as you need to. We are all here for you.

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Avatar for cl_whispersmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 4:48pm

{{{^Barkley^ and ^Barkley's^ Mom}}}

With my heart,