Bicky's Second Year Anniversary
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Bicky's Second Year Anniversary
|Tue, 01-01-2013 - 9:44pm|
It has been two years now since the passing of my dear Bicky. It's amazing how fast time passes . When I lost him, I couldn't imagine being able to get through a single day without him by my side...but here I am.
Actually, I find myself in the same place I did a year ago (on his 1st year anniversary) ..managing through life, but still grieving. Most of my friends and family members show little understanding as I navigate this grief process for "just a dog". It is therefore not an understatement to say that this board has been a Godsend. I really don't know how I would have been able to get through all this without the love and support of the. people on this board. Thank you so much.
Below is a piece I wrote in honor of Bicky's first year anniversary. I thought it fitting to repost it in honor of Bicky's second anniversary. Again, thank you all for your support.
January 2nd , 2012 will mark the 2nd year anniversary my beautiful baby boy (my pet dog, Bicky) made his way to the Rainbow Bridge. As some of you know, my girlfriend (Naoko) and I found Bicky as a stray on the streets of Tokyo in 2002, and we were blessed with nine wonderful years with him.
One year on, I am still mourning his loss greatly. Especially around the holidays, I feel the emptiness and the sense of loss is amplified.
I have some weeks that are better than others, but I’ve found that the waves of grief can sneak up and overwhelm me. I am guessing that this pain and sorrow will never completely dissipate with time, and the quiet grief and loneliness I experience at times is just the new normal for me. His death has made me a better person though, helping me understand the value of friendship, love, and how precious (and fleeting) life can indeed be.
I keep his urn in a prominent place in my house, along with a digital photo frame with over 500 rotating pictures of him. This has brought Naoko and I much needed comfort.
For those interested, Bicky died beautifully.
Leading up to his passing, he had been quite ill for 4 or 5 months. The veterinarian determined that he had Cushing’s disease, but was somewhat optimistic that some new (revolutionary) medicine could help his condition.
Bicky slowly deteriorated though. I was in complete denial and convinced myself that he would miraculously rebound and put it all behind us. But it was not to be.
Bicky’s last Christmas was tranquil and joyful. We spent it up in the mountains (at Naoko’s parents’ house) in Northern Japan. Although he had trouble walking, we made a beautiful bed for him right beside the Christmas tree. He was surrounded by everybody he loved and he was even able to eat a little turkey and enjoy the Christmas ambience. He seemed so happy and content.
His condition took a turn for the worst though on New Years’ day, so Naoko and I decided to drive Bicky to a veterinarian hospital in Tokyo. The doctor was a bit taken aback by Bicky’s deteriorating condition. He hydrated him with an IV, and instructed us to bring him back the next day. That night we lay Bicky down in his bed, located in the same living room we spent so many wonderful times together. For the previous 4 months, I had slept on the living room sofa, so I could be with Bicky during the evening in case he needed me. His bed was right beside mine. Bicky looked much better. I remember I crawled up beside him, and whispered, “We have a big day tomorrow Mr. Handsome; we have to wake up at 8am to go to the vet’s”. Bicky licked my nose and then rested his head on his (favorite) soft green pillow. I put a light blanket on him, kissed him one more time, and turned off the light.
I kept a flashlight beside me, so I could sometimes see how he was doing during the evening. I turned the flashlight on once as if to say “hello”, and Bicky wagged his tail as if to say “I’m o.k. Now try to get some sleep Mark”. I did just that.
I slept like a rock that night, and the sun was already up by the time I awoke. I turned over to say “good morning” to my Bicky…but as soon as I laid my eyes on him, I realized that he chose that night to let go.
Thank you again everybody for your (continued) support.
And thank you Bicky for being my best friend (ever).