I'm Maggie's mommy and I also
Hi,I'm so very sorry for your loss. Believe me when I tell you I know just what your feeling at this very moment.
Your story sounds alot like mine. I had to put my "son" to sleep 4 1/2 months ago, he was 16years old, I had had him since he was 8weeks old. He also went through my divorce with me and for the past 4years it was just him and me. He was by my side 24/7 ,he went every where with me. Like you ,I am lost.
I wish I could tell you its going to get easier, but that would be a lie, I am no better 4 1/2 months later. I still keep replaying that awful day over and over in my mind.
How do you go on, the only thing to focus on right now is just getting thru the day. After I put Barkley to sleep the days following were a blur. I cried until I would throw up. My heart was and is so broken I feel pain. The only way I found to cope was to make myself feel numb.
Yes you are in shock, you are mourning the loss of your son, this is something you will never get over but you will get through it, we now have to somehow learn to live without them by our side. How ? I don't know. I still have Barkleys bed sitting next ot my chair, his toys are where they were 4 1/2 months ago, I can not put anything of his away. That would just be too final.
people have asked me if I plan on getting another dog,since I have had dogs all my life, my answer is NO, I know I would not survive this
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are feeling is unbearable,your story is like mine. The day I ahd to put barkley to sleep,he was 16years old,had him since he was 8weeks old. By my side thru everything. But the day I had to put him to sleep I had taken him to the vets because for the past week he had not been himself, also like over night he had lost weight, I thought he had a stomach virus which my vet had put him on meds for,so that day that awful day I thought ok take him to the vets,she would give him more meds and we would be on out way. When she gave me 3 options and 2 of those 3 options had the word death in them,I knew we were in trouble. I also knew what I had to do, I loved him too much to see him suffer. That was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life.
I am still not sure how i drove home and when I walked into my house that not 1 hr before had my "son" sleeping on his bed and now i saw that bed empty, I swear to GOD I actually felt my heart break.
4 1/2 months later,I still play that day over and over, I know I did the right thing but that does not help with the pain.
The only way I have survived so far is to feel numb. Just take it minute by minute.
Just remember your not alone,I know just how your feeling. Just try and hang in there.
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this too.
Your words always touch my heart because I know you have been where I am now. Its just so damn hard and I don't see it getting any better. I just miss him SO very much. I don't think
I feel exactly like you, barely able to function. But here I am gathering my things to go to class all day. I don't think I'll be able to absorb anything while I'm there, but I can't afford not to go. This weekend all I ate was a bowl of cereal, a banana and grapefruit. I'm feeling so weak and tired right now. I woke up in a state of panic again, heart racing. I had to take 1/2 a xanax.
Your situation is exactly like mine. What a horrible feeling. Like you, I wasn't prepared, emotionally or otherwise. I had been bargaining with her for a while to stay strong for me, I needed her more than she needed me. She had such a healthy appetite and her bathroom habits were good, I thought that was all that mattered. I knew that she had lost weight and was frail, but a lot of old people are.
Thanks for sympathizing and I know that we both know how the other feels. I'm sure I'll be posting more on here later today when I get home.
I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful ^Spanky^...