I lost my sweetheart last Friday
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|Thu, 02-11-2010 - 10:55am|
My sweet darling kitty Priscilla Sue passed away last Friday morning. She started having seizures back in November and she was being treated for them. For awhile, the medicine was working well. Then, she started having them again. I went to a concert Wednesday night and when I got home, she was laying down and making this awful noise. I gave her some valium, thinking it was another seizure. I used the valium to break up the seizures. Thursday, she was lethargic and acted as if she could not walk. I called her doc and he told me that he was going to consult with a Neurologist to see what we could do, but I should also be prepared to make decisions. I just wrapped her up in a blanket and held her all night long. I didn't sleep. I was going to have her put to sleep Friday. She died Friday morning.
Priscilla (I called her 'Scilla) was my everything. She would snuggle with me all day. When I got laid off in February of last year, we spent every day thereafter together. My marriage has been failing for quite sometime now. And 'Scilla filled the void I had in my heart. She loved me and I loved her. My daughter joked on several occasions that 'Scilla and I were married. I suppose she was right. We spent every moment together. If we were awake, we were snuggling, if we were asleep, we were snuggling.
She adored me. Literally. She would often stroke my face with her paw whilst in my arms. Sometimes, she'd do that to get back under the covers, but it was usually to show affection. She was not a vocal girl. She rarely said a thing. But, I knew she loved me.
It hurts so bad that she is no longer by my side. My husband tells me that she is a stupid cat and I need to get the "F" over it. I cannot. I cannot sleep and if I do, I cry myself to sleep. I'm depressed. I kept her collar and put it on a stuffed cow from my collection and I sleep with it against my heart along with one of her toy mice. I was fortunate to adopt her biological sister, Daphne around the same time I adopted 'Scilla. We are grieving together. I'm glad she is here because I feel like I still have a part of 'Scilla around. They look alike, too. But, Daph is my husband's cat.
But, Daph is not 'Scilla. I feel so empty without her. I always talked to 'Scilla about busting out of this place and getting a divorce so she and I could have our own place and I would spoil her rotten. She was my strength. I felt that anything was possible as long as she was with me.
It was just too sudden. Although I had planned on having her PTS, I still feel that she should have had more time. We had things we wanted to do. More snuggle time. I miss her so much.
I am literally crying as I type this. I am sorry this is long, but I really need to talk to someone that doesn't think I am crazy for loving her so much.