I put my Cody to sleep

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2009
I put my Cody to sleep
4
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 9:38pm
I have had a hard day. I have had several pets in the past that I have had to put to sleep and none of them are ever easy, but Cody was different than the rest. He was a dwarf German shepherd. I had him for just over 7 years. I know as with the rest of my pets it was time and the right thing to do, but I feel so lonely right now. Cody was like my Shadow and went wherever I went. If I was having a hard night and wanted to cut or commit suicide he was there in my lap just to keep me safe and I truly felt he understood the pain I felt. I am not sure if I can go on with out him. It is not just him but a long story about him and how I got him and how it was a special situation. He gave me life in a goofy way. I have been suicidal on and off over the years but with him it helped me get thru some lonely and long nights. I am not sure if I can do this with out him. Just the look in his eyse that he give me just melted me. I listened to my heart today and sent him to the rainbow bridge. But I want to go with him. How can you own up to 17 dogs in your life and have one that tears you up inside to be with out. So many times I wondered if my life was worth fighting for and he tried to always show me to keep fighting. Never give up. I have been on a work out program for over 4 years and have put to sleep 4 dogs in those years, never missing a day in work out. Today I just could not do it. I just laid in my room and was like paralyzed. I lost my mom 2 years back and even at that moved on with out missing a beat. But Cody he lit a spark in my heart and made it alive again, but with out him hear that spark is going to be gone again and I can not handle it. I loved that dog so much. I had a hard time telling him goodbye but I know he is at peace right now. But what about me, I want to be at peace just like him. And be with him. How can you love a canine so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 12:32pm

Dear k9trnr,


I can feel the pain in your post.

Avatar for cl_whispersmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 9:44pm

{{{^Cody's^ Mom}}}

With my heart,
 
Avatar for cl_whispersmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 9:52pm

{{{^J.D.'s^ Mom}}}

With my heart,
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 11:24am
I share your feelings. I too feel like life without my 'Scilla is not worth living. It's been 7 days since she left me and I have felt quite often that I want to die just so I can be with her again. But, I know that Daphne and my human kids need me so I remain here. I can't offer any advice, since this is so new and raw to me as well. But just know that you are not alone and there are many kindred spirits here on this board. (((hugs)))