I'm writing this from work.
I read your post with tears running down my face. I can feel the pain in your heart. Its sad to lose your best friend at any age but you had her for 20years ,you asked how can anyone understand.,every single one of us on this site understands.
I had to put my best friend to sleep 4 1/2 months ago, he was 16. He WAS my son. I have asked the same questions as you are asking now,the what ifs, the if onlys. the why didn't I see this .. please you have to let those questions go or they will drive you crazy.
I know your playing that terrible day over and over in your mind,I still do the same thing to this day. I have to make myself feel nothing or numb in order to function through out my day. Nothing seems right anymore.
You and your husband made the ultimate sacrifice,to love her enough to let her go. to put her feelings before yours. to want to see her suffer no more knowing your suffering was about to begin. Like you said they come into our lives wanting only one thing, to be loved, they leave our lives taking a piece of our hearts that no other animal can ever fill.
take comfort knowing the last thing she saw was the love you felt for her in your eyes and the last thing she heard was your heart. She is free of any pain now, she is running around healthy.
You will come into contact with people who just don't get it, who cant understand why you're so upset. Don't get upset at these people ,feel sorry for them because they have never had the honor of knowing what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.
We never get over this loss,we
I read your post late last night, during a bout with sleeplessness.
Hello Mattie: I am so sorry for your loss. Your kitty is in heaven right now having a blast! She is now healthy, happy and making new friends at the bridge waiting for the day you two will be reunited. Please know that you give her the best years of her life and she will always be looking over you. Don't let people's negative behavior get to you, instead feel sorry for them because they have never had a love of a pet. That's something that they are missing out on. Our babies are more than pets to us, they are our sons and daughters and loosing them is so hard to deal with. Please know that your kitty is not gone, they are just in another dimension having the time of their lives. Continue talking to her.. she can hear you. I hope i have helped you alittle bit.
You spoke of delayed grief and I know just what you're talking about. I lost my brother in May of 2007, he was diagnosed with cancer in April of 2007 and less then a month later he was gone, he was 52 and never sick a day in his life. when he passed I had to bury my grief deep within myself because we have an 85 year old mom who I had to somehow help her with her grief over losing
Thank you for your post.
I have good and bad days.
I know I am a month late on my post, but I just wanted to offer hugs to you. I had to put my almost 15 year old cat down in October 2008 (she was 10 days from turning 15). That was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do because I had to make the decision to put her down. I am 24 years old, and I had had Missy for the toughest years of my life. She was my best friend in the world, and to this day, I am still broken-hearted over losing her.
I got another cat after I lost Missy, and her name is Bella. I love Bella, but not nearly in the same way that I loved Missy. I feel bad that I take it out on Bella sometimes that she is not Missy, but I just try to take it day by day. The pain does get easier, but it definitely takes time. Do whatever you need to do to grieve, no matter what anybody else thinks. *big hugs to you*