Missing Misty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2013
Missing Misty
1
Wed, 12-04-2013 - 8:24pm

Yesterday I lost my best friend.  She was a Maine Coon mix who picked me at the local animal shelter when I was 13 years old.  After over 18 years, it's safe to say she was with me through every pretty much every milestone in my life; she was my constant companion and the best friend you could ever ask for.  She turned 19 last month...she's been steadily declining over the past few years, but still had been happy.  I know she was in pain and she was sleeping a lot, but I didn't really think she was suffering as she was still eating and purring. She'd still greet me, although sometimes she would not actually get up to do so, but instead would just give a "meow" from the couch.  I know cats are stoic and I know that sometimes humans allow the pets to decline too far, because they just don't see that their pet is suffering.  I do not think she was suffering, but  I had asked my boyfriend and some close friends to please tell us if they thought it was time and we were not seeing it.

I knew she wasn't quite herself, but had been chalking it up to old age, but yesterday we discovered that she had some sort of tumor that she had opened up.  She cried out in pain when I went to pick her up to cuddle her.  I suspected it was time...I got my boyfriend home and we did some tests: would she eat, how was her walking, would she play.  She was ok..but just ok. And it was clear that all she really wanted to do was lay back down.  Except she couldn't get comfortable.  We know we made the right decision, but it is just so hard.  I am filled with guilt...I should have cherished her more, I should have done this, what if that.... What if we did it too soon?  I am driving myself crazy with it. She's already gone, she was clearly in pain and clearly must have been suffering.  I just don't know how to cope with this.  She was my first pet, my best friend and she was always there to greet me.  Today the house feels so empty without her.  I have other pets, but they are independent (a bird and an anti-social cat) and it is just so, so sad to come home and not have her here.  I just don't know what to do with myself and it hurts so bad.

Forgive me for rambling, but I just needed to vent I guess.  I've never had much loss in my own life, fortunately, but I had worked in a veterinarian's office, so I never thought it would be this difficult since I had seen it so often.  It is just soooo different on this side.  Plus, I've been going through a lot of other drama in my life too so this just makes it all the more difficult. 

I want so badly to believe in the Rainbow bridge.  I really hope it is true and she is up there someplace, no longer in pain and happy that I gave her relief from her pain.

Community Leader
Registered: 04-19-2008
In reply to: ShayB81
Sun, 12-22-2013 - 7:19pm

{{{^Misty's^ Mom}}}  Welcome to our little corner of the web.  I'm so glad your precious ^Misty^ (with her beautiful new angel ^wings^) guided you here, to be in the company of other grieving bridgemoms who truly understand your shattered soul.  {{{gentle hugs}}}

Oh ShayB81, you sound like a wonderful furmom.  You did absolutely everything possible to make sure your sweet ^Misty^ was happy, healthy, and comfortable.  It was that one day when she finally let you know she was ready to cross over to the Bridge.  Please, please don't let that horrid guilt monster get to you.  We all torture ourselves with the "what if's", "if only's", and "why did I's".  I just know you and your beautiful girl had such a strong connection, so that one day ^Misty^ decided to let you know she was ready to earn her wings.  {{{hugs}}}  Please know that it takes a strong and loving soul to put the needs of her beloved before her own.  You cared more about your precious furchild, making sure she wasn't suffering, than you did your own needs.  You made the most loving decision possible..... to release her from her pain.  It's just so sad that when our beloved's pain ends, ours begins....

I hope you'll be able to stay with us and let us know how you are doing.  Please know that we'll always be here for you, just as all our beloveds are now with ^Misty^ at the Rainbow Bridge.

With my heart,
Lin, Whisper's Mom
www.whisperintheheart.com
www.facebook.com/WhisperInTheHeart

With my heart,