10 years later
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|Sat, 04-26-2014 - 8:04pm|
This time of year is a stressful time for me. For those of you who were not members here 10 years ago (I was a lot more active on the site then), Itchy was pretty ill now. He had cancer and had surgery in 2002 and then as soon as he was healed enough he began chemo. It was a long and stressful 15 or so months by late April 2004. His cancer had returned and he was slowly losing his battle. In the meantime, Electra had several health issues including kidney failure, mega-colon and had gone deaf. To add to the hard times, CopyCat was ill and had gone missing.
It is hard to believe that May 12th will mark 10 years since we lost Itchy, May 29th will mark Electra’s 10 year and May 27th for CopyCat. I miss them all so much still and forever will.
Of course it is extraordinarily difficult when one of your companions leaves. Hell, I go as far as saying it is incredibly painful, stressful and causes months, nay years of sorrow and sadness. Still, had it not been for the bond and love you felt there could be no pain and sorrow. Many decide it is too hard to go through it again and opt to not. I came to realize the pain was great, but the love and memories were far greater. Knowing I had given a loving home to my friends and companions combined with how happy they made me and how wonderful most of the memories were, made me realize that I could not not share my life, my heart and home again. So I did and still do and hope to always.
Here is the letter I wrote to Itchy 10 days before he left us (it was posted on this site in May 2004 as well as my cats website then and it still means a lot to me today):
My dear sweet Itchy,
You have touched my life more than you or I could ever imagine. You brought me laughs, you brought me tears, you brought me hope, you brought me pain. Itchy, you brought me life and love.
I am unable to express with words just how deeply you touched my life, there seems to be a point where all logic and reason cease, and you entrenched yourself there, in my soul.
I remember the first time I saw you, small, scared, but full of life. You decided Hamlet was your brother and you both became inseparable from then on. At first you did not trust me, or so I thought. I now know it was just a lesson in patience, with you my teacher. As I learned each lesson you taught me over the years, I never realized what you were doing. I now see that you did teach me and kept me heavily rewarded with things far more valuable than any monitory treasures. You gave me the rewards of your love, respect, trust and friendship, all the most wondrous and richest of gifts I would have ever hoped or wished for.
Your teachings have come to an end and I know you must leave me soon. But how does one say good bye to all you have offered and shown me? You tell me I am ready, I can see it in your face, but I just cannot see it in myself. All I see now is the pain, sorrow and anger welling up, rushing to fill the void you will leave in my soul, the place you lived in my heart. I am and will drown in a sea of tears and sorrow, left with nothing I fear. My heart will hurt without you. My life will never be the same with the loss of you. I lose part of myself. My life will never be what it once was, for I will no longer have you.
With all my heart,
Here is to all our loved ones who are at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope they are all playing and waiting for the day they see us again. A BIG hug to all who have felt the pain as well.
David and the CoolCyberCats