After all this time
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|Wed, 11-22-2006 - 10:06am|
I was undergoing dialysis the other day and all of a sudden, I thought of Vincent. The tears nearly came but I controlled myself because I didn't want to appear crazy by suddenly crying in front of so many ppl. In fact, as I sit here typing this, I have this feeling of utter melancholy. I miss him so much!
I think back of all his cute little ways. The way he barked when he wanted rambutans the moment he sees me eating some. The cute look he always wore when he wanted walks. The way he played catch with me : he will prance and do that playful bow pose then run away with what I swear was a grin and I'd chase him.
I also remember the way he rescued me from those Malay hoodlums that wouldn't leave me alone, seeing them run away in fright being pursued by a little dog like him was priceless! He was so smart!
My heart breaks and I feel like crying each time I remember my Dad telling me how much he missed me when I was gone (I went for further studies overseas). The way he'd take one of my shoes down from the shoe rack and sleep with it. The way he'd take it down again when my Dad put it back. Oh, how I wish I'd taken more photos of him or even not go for further studies, since I can't work full time now anyway, so my degree was all in vain.
Perhaps if I didn't go for further studies, Vincent could have lived longer and I would have got a chance to say goodbye to him.
Even after all this time of nearly 11 years, I still think of him and feel sad each time I do. I hope he's still waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge and that he's having a good time.
I read Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates and cold noses 2 and it brought me a great deal of comfort. I would recommend those 2 books to anyone who's lost a pet. You can order it here : http://www.coldnosesbook.com/index.htm If you order both books, you get 2 free e-books which is pretty good.
Please tell me how to feel better because I feel horrible each time I think of Vincent and how impatient I was with him at times. He certainly didn't deserve it and I wish there was someway I could tell him how sorry I am and hold him and play with him once again.