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|Wed, 07-23-2008 - 9:24am|
Hello again, Thanks to Lin, Carol and TucksMom for the kind words after Roadsides passing. I am trying so hard not to let this get me down, or down to far, if that makes sense. I know I can't change it so I am making a real effort to push past this pain in my heart. Okay now I'm crying because thats what happens when I let myself go to that place.
I never really told you all what happened, so here goes... As some of you know Road was diagnosed with congestive heart failure on May 2nd '07, the vet gave him 2 months and at first he was very ill, but he pulled through. Our house became very quiet, no stress and lots of love and fresh salmon for road. About six months later the vet said his kidneys were starting to fail, so we backed off on some meds and changed his food to renal food. He had a great year, loved going outside and attacking the dog as always. Then this July 4th he seemed a bit under the weather, but he hadn't pooped (which had happened before) so I thought once he goes to the bathroom he'll be fine, but then he stopped eating on the 9th we brought him to the vet and got horrible news that his kidneys wouldn't hold out much longer. The night of the 10th he couldn't walk and was very weak. It was a horrible night, we gave him some sedatives so he could sleep because he kept struggling to get up and walk but kept falling and meowing. The morning of the 11th was the most horrible morning of my life. I can't believe it still. He was the best and I love him more then anything and anyone. There are people who get mad at me for that, but I don't care. He was the one that no matter what made me smile. I miss him so much I can't believe that I'm still breathing. At least I've stopped looking at the clock and counting the hours since he's been gone. Since May 2nd it was 14months and 9 days, we were blessed to have had that time.
I saw the post about the songs, "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan is mine at the moment...
When the stars have all gone out you'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently into morning 'cause the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy so I can wash this from my mind
the memory of choosing not to fight.
Well if you'd like to say hi to my road you can go to my myspace page
Thanks for listening everyone, My thoughts are with all of you that have lost a precious baby. This is so hard but I guess it gets easier, even if the memory and love never fades. I would take this pain anyday for being so lucky to have had Road in my life. I hope everyone can find some peace in the love they shared.
My love to everyone
Karen, Gremlyn, Becky and Roadsides mom