don't hate me.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
don't hate me.....
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 5:12pm

Adopted a 3mo old puppy yesterday evening night. Such a sweetie, really. Came and snuggle on both of us... I got the happy feeling and happy tears. I KNOW I'm not a puppy person but guess got too over confident in discussing it with my husband. I ended up returning the puppy late this morning to the shelter. I know... please don't hate me.....  Needless to say, my husband is highly upset with me even cried and told me not to but really... I know felt so bad.... ugh.... he even said we are never ever having another dog again. Now we aren't talking to one another... how lovely... ugh....

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:19pm
Well if you didn't want opinions, you shouldn't have posted for the world to see. I think you can figure out MY opinion..
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:42pm
The Lord blesses people like you.
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:45pm

If your husband likes puppies then couldn't it have been primarily his pet and he would be responsible for most of the care until the dog was mature and at a stage that you like? I'm assuming that you like adult dogs and its just the puppy stage you don't like because they need so much attention?

The shelters here screen people before letting them take pets, to be sure that they are really ready for a pet and understand the commitment, that the breed is appropriate for their home and lifestyle, that the specific animal is suited to the family, etc. I guess they don't do that where you live? 

The last part of your post sounds more like it should be on a relationship board. Did you discuss it with your husband before getting the dog and before returning it? I don't know you so I won't hate you, but I can see why your husband is very upset with you. 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 10:50pm

I know you were very sad over the loss of your old dog a few months ago.  And also that your husband wasn't as supportive as you wanted him to be.  I'm sorry you took the puppy back though.  Puppies are a lot of work, but raising them up the way you want them is rewarding itself.

I hope you and your husband can have a good honest talk about your expectations about what it would be like to have a dog again so you can decide *together* rationally what is best for you.  We can't give homes to every dog, so we need to know what type of dog works for us.  There is a wonderful "right" dog for you, who will be very happy for a forever home with you.

FWIW when we got our puppy I thought, oh my goodness what have I done?!  When we got our second dog I thought the same thing. Come to think of it, I thought the same thing with my first baby too.  Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith in yourself and believe that you can do the hard thing.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 10:52pm

Well, since we have come to the moral state where we return our CHILDREN, I guess returning a pet ranks low on the digust-o-meter.

Cleveland and Lisa Cox may be the personification of a consumer society . . . to the point of treating their son as an unwanted or defective product. The couple is charged with abandonment after they took their 9-year-old son back to the Butler County Children’s Services where they adopted him at 3 months old. They are seeking the termination of their parental rights and responsibilities.

The parents appear to believe that adopted children are like an unwanted dress, though even retailers will not honor a return policy after nine years of use.

Torry Hansen was living in Shelbyville, Tennessee, when she sent her then-7-year-old son on a plane alone back to Moscow in April 2010 with a note that said the boy was violent and she no longer wanted to keep him.

When a Liberian girl proves too much for her parents, they advertise her online and give her to a couple they’ve never met. 

Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. It is a largely lawless marketplace. Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.

The practice is called "private re-homing," a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

"Born in October of 2000 – this handsome boy, 'Rick' was placed from India a year ago and is obedient and eager to please," one ad for a child read.

A woman who said she is from Nebraska offered an 11-year-old boy she had adopted from Guatemala. "I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!" she wrote in a July 2012 post.

Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. "We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China… Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days." The parent asked that others share the ad "with anyone you think may be interested."

By the numbers: 261 kids offered via Yahoo.  U.S. lawmakers call for action on re-homing

Reuters analyzed 5,029 posts from a five-year period on one Internet message board, a Yahoo group. On average, a child was advertised for re-homing there once a week. Most of the children ranged in age from 6 to 14 and had been adopted from abroad – from countries such as Russia and China, Ethiopia and Ukraine. The youngest was 10 months old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-1999
Sun, 11-17-2013 - 8:31pm
I don't hate you, but as a shelter volunteer who works her butt off to get unwanted dogs adopted to good homes, I am extremely disappointed in you for your irresponsible behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Mon, 11-18-2013 - 9:13am

I know, I feel like scum of the earth. :(  I don't know why I even adopted a puppy.. maybe pressured myself like that had to be the day to get a dog (husband is rarely available often so we can go look together). I know I'm not a puppy person and had more of an older dog in mind like two or three years old. I think I also got too over confident like he and I could do this together. I feel so bad but I really am not a puppy person at all. It was a horrible mistake.

I feel too the shelter woman that talked with us should have picked up a lot better on my hesitations. I do think I ended up doing the right thing by taking the puppy back (it is a no-kill shelter) and the dogs there get adopted quickly I've noticed from the website pictures are removed within days of being put up which means they have been adopted. At least the puppy can have a home where someone is REALLY able to give her what she deserves and has patiences, so in that regard I feel it was the responsible thing to do.

Community Leader
Registered: 11-21-2001
Mon, 11-18-2013 - 12:52pm

Well...we all make mistakes.  You were missing your own puppy and wanted another one and, obviously, didn't think it through.

I doubt I would ever get another puppy again only because I know there are so many older dogs in shelters that need good homes; most of the time puppies are adopted out much quicker.

I also believe it's partially the shelter's fault; where I am you can fill out the paperwork but cannot take a dog home until at least 24 hours afterwards so that you have time to "think" about it.  I remember going to see Cleo on a Sunday and couldn't take her home until Monday.  It was Thanksgiving week and I had to give a deposit because they couldn't spay her that week; most of the vets they used were unavailable.  I didn't want her to be in the shelter over Thanksgiving so I gave them $150 with the promise that we would have her spayed at our earliest convenience.

In any you know.  Think long and hard before taking in another that you and your husband can both be happy about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Mon, 11-18-2013 - 12:56pm
{{Thank you, Laura}}