Had to put Cloey to sleep
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|Sat, 07-20-2013 - 9:10am|
Hi again.. once again I'm sorry for just coming here every now and then and it's only when I need some help. I had to put Cloey (beagle) to sleep on Thursday night. She wasn't doing good this year... the vet said the nevers in her back legs are failing and some tumor on her brain is getting bigger and that would cause her to lose her balance. Anyways so things started getting worse the past couple of weeks with her not wanting to eat so the vet suggested mixingin baby food.. did that but she still would just pick at her food. Then she fall down constantly and I'd help her back up. Just this past week is when things got so bad... she peed in the kitchen floor and fell either while she was peeing like her back legs would give out. I'd come home twice and she was lying in her pee unable to get up. I asked a relative who works afternoons and can go by my house to get to her work if she could come by before work to check on Cloey and let her out. She said yes and was to start that on this coming Monday. I really should have like I thought to put a baby gate up we have to block Cloey's entrance to the kitchen off while I was at work on Thursday but did not..... which in turn I am seriously kicking myself for. I figured my husband would not go for that plan so thought Cloey could hang in there just one more day until my relative could start coming by daily to check on her. Anyhow.. came home after work, she had fallen in her pee again but this time I guess she kept trying to get up and slipping and up and slipping back down on the floor so much just struggling that her knees on her back legs were awful looking and so bloody. I'll spare you the other details but had to take her to the vet and put her to sleep.. I figured that I could not keep making her try and try again like she has been such a tropper through her whole not feeling well.
My problem is now is that I never knew I could feel such intesene sadness. I have not been able to stop crying.. wake up during the night and cry.. this house is so odd and sad feeling without her. I can't for the life of me stop thinking and stop crying. I picked up all her things and put them in a box and put it down in the basement .. figured if I just left them lying around I'd get more sad. I really honestly don't know what to do with her bedding.. I just left it in some laundry pile on the floor downstairs in the basement. What the heck do I do with it?? Wash it or throw it out or keep it in another box and hide the box somewhere? I looked on the Pet Berevement board here and those stories just make me more sad and aren't helpful so that is why I came here so you all kinda know me. We chose to have her cremated so will get her ashes back in two weeks and will put them out in the yard here.. which I'm sure I'll have another meltdown then too. :(