How to get used to another dog after pet loss?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
How to get used to another dog after pet loss?
5
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 9:24am

Hi again... so it's been seven weeks or so since I had to put Cloey to sleep. I'm thinking of getting another dog sometime soon. I still cry though over Cloey but some days aren't so bad. Anyway, I know when I get another dog (always just had her as my only pet) I know they say not to compare that each dog is dfferent. I would like some ideas on how to think like I know for sure the house will look different and won't have the same feel to it when another dog is here. Like I've been used to seeing her all the time now it will be a different looking dog. That for one and the other how I guess really not to wish the new dog really was her? Thank you so much for any help.

Community Leader
Registered: 11-21-2001
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 5:43pm

I remember when you had to put your dear Cloey to sleep...and I'm so very sorry.

I can tell you that it's not easy....when I lost my ^Valentine^ i thought that it would be a very long time before I would get another dog.  At the time I still had my dal, ^Samantha^...but she was on in years and I knew we would lose her at some point.  I just happened to visit our local shelter for an Open House and saw my Cleo.  She was curled up in the corner of her run and looked so scared.

Even knowing that she needed me it took a while to bond with her.  Everyone tells me that she reminds them of Valentine (she's a lab/mix) but I still can't see it.  Maybe it's just denial on my part.

You will know...you will see the dog that needs you to save his or her life and you'll just "know".

Good luck and please let us help in any way that we can.

Laura
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 5:28pm
Thank you for understanding. I'm going to take a few pictures of her down... the ones on the refrigerator, etc. and see if that helps. Not that I think it is really bothering me.. but we'll see how things go after that. It is so bizarre because just within the past few days I've been crying my eyes out again over her. It's like right when I thought I was progressing well .. turns out I'm not. I've been looking at some dogs on the shelter's website but by the time I inquire about them, the dog has already been adopted so then I feel really disappointed and frustrated.. that has happened a couple of times already. I still feel kind of a mess inside. I'll keep you posted. This is not easy for sure... worst feeling I've ever experienced and for so long too. I appreciate you being so kind.
Community Leader
Registered: 11-21-2001
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:33am

No thanks necessary....I've been through this more than once.  I've been able to keep my pups' pictures around....I even have wooden urns with the ashes of ^Valentine^ and ^Samantha^ out in my family room...each one has their picture on the front.  It comforts me to feel as if they are still "with" me and I often kiss them to feel even closer.

It does get better in time...but you never forget.  If you have the time, you might want to volunteer at your local shelter; many shelters have auxiliaries where the volunteers go to walk dogs, clean up, do laundry, collect donations, etc.  By walking dogs and giving them attention you'll be doing a great service...and you might even find a lifelong companion that way.

Laura
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2000
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 10:26am

Losing our best friends is always hard, and I've lost many over the years.  We never forget them, but we learn to live without them.  Cloey will always have a forever home in your heart.  Believe me when I tell you that your heart still has a lot of room and plenty of love to give and receive.  There's another dog out there just waiting for you to come along so it can rescue you from your pain.  They want to give more than they ever ask in return.  Go to the adoption events or take a walk through the kennels of your local shelter.  You will feel your heart lurch and that special dog that has been waiting just for you will jump into it.  

Know also that Cloey doesn't want you to suffer on her account.  She wants you to heal and be happy.  

Barbara

Oh say, can you see?


Visual Impairments


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 10:11am
Thank you, Barbara. Your response was very sweet. I've read your response three times and is helpful.