BF getting sick from giving oral sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
BF getting sick from giving oral sex!
5
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 6:16pm
I recently started having sex with my new boyfriend. He performed oral sex on me once. He had since been complaining of a chronic stomach ache, and after pressuring him to go to the doctor he finally admitted to me that this happens every time he performs oral sex on a girl, and lasts for about two weeks! I don't know if maybe this is a mental thing or not. He said that he did have one bad experience when he was younger, but he feels like he has gotten over it, and he still wants to do it with me even though it makes him sick. Has anyone ever heard of this before?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 6:53pm
Hmmmmmm...I smell an excuse brewing. I'm sorry but I've never heard of such a thing. What a guy though....he's going to "take it like a man" and keep doing it all the while KNOWING that you will likely say no to avoid making him "suffer" for 2 weeks. Oh please! I think your guy has used this excuse successfully in the past, and he's dusting it off and using it again with you as well.

IF he did have a bad experience with someone else in the past, what does that have to do with you? I think he needs to be more mature about this, stop making excuses and discuss it with you. Whether he likes doing it or not, IF he's enjoying fellatio, then he should expect to reciprocate SOME way, and that should be the way YOU choose.

And while it's a possibility that he's got emotional issues about cunnilingus, then he should be willing to work on them!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 1:30am
This guy has a real hang up about it. If it was only with you, I'd suspect some kind of allergy.......but if it's happened with previous partners......hmmmm.

I'll give him credit for wanting to try anyway.....but he needs to find out what it is that bothers him about it. You wouldn't be able to enjoy it if you knew he got sick for two weeks just from giving you pleasure.

Whatever it is, it's mental......and the "experience" must have been terrible, and he's NOT over it. Maybe he could work his way up to it slowly.....just for a moment or two in the beginning.....or try using a dental dam, so he wouldn't be getting any of your "juices" so there would be nothing to make him sick. If he's willing to try, don't discourage him. Maybe he just has to do it for a while to get over it.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 8:39am
I think your boyfriend should CLEARLY understand the correct way to perform Oral sex !!

Instead of swallowing your vaginal juices alone, probably hes swallowing your ASS juices too. YES i mean hes swallowing your excreta too !!

Either that or his stomach is allergic or sensitive to the vaginal fluids.

Experiment by asking him NOT to go near your butt prior to oral sex next time and u will know. I would also ask u to take a nice relaxing bath prior to that (make sure u wash yourself well).

Let us know the results.

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 10:38am
I don't know where you learned about oral sex, or how you "practice" it now, but that is a BIT far fetched! There are no "juices" in or on your anus.....and if it was "feces" you're referring to....I highly doubt that could happen without BOTH parties knowing it.

Oral sex (cunnilingus) goes nowhere near the anus....and even if they did go near it (rimming, and no one in their right mind would go there without thoroughly washing or bathing first!) Her b/f is not the ONLY one who needs to clearly understand what cunnilingus is.

This guy has a problem, but it's got nothing to do with feces!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 4:02pm
I'm not an expert, but I am someone who was sexually abused when I was younger. If he gets a stomach ache every time he performs oral sex, then I think that he has not gotten over the bad experience he had when he was younger, whatever that may have been.

There are certain sex acts that I'm not able to do today, even though I would like to, because I was forced to do them with an abuser. When I've attempted to do them with a partner I loved, I get sick to my stomach and have even vomited or had panic attacks. Over the course of time, I'm learning to overcome some of these problems, but it has required a lot of therapy and a lot of patience from myself and my partner.

There are other sex acts, such as giving oral sex, that I was not able to enjoy until after I went to therapy to deal with the abuse. It's possible that therapy might help your bf. It's also possible that with patience and practice, and with him recognizing why he gets a stomach ache and being willing to talk about his feelings, he might be able to overcome it without therapy.

The one thing I would recommend, if memories of a bad experience are causing his problem, is not to pressure him to do it. That doesn't mean that I think you should just accept no oral sex as part of the relationship, but try to be patient and encourage him to keep trying, without pressuring him to do it. If he does just a little licking and kissing down there, then stops as soon as he becomes uncomfortable and goes on to stimulate you manually or with a sex toy or through intercourse, I think that gradually, he may be able to build up his tolerance and learn to enjoy it.

The key is that you said he wants to be able to do this. If he's motivated to try, I think that he will be able to. Therapy is an option if he needs more help.

Good luck.

Jazz