Married woman attracted to sinlge man

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Married woman attracted to sinlge man
10
Tue, 05-26-2009 - 11:07pm

I have been attracted to a man for awhile and he to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 7:08am

A single man has no business messing around with a married woman no matter how dire her marriage. The facts that you're having such difficulty, have a child, and are still married, that makes your situation very complicated. There is no reason good enough for a single guy to want to complicate his own life like that. You are potentially going to make another man's life much more difficult by initiating affairs, and although you think a divorce would hurt your child the most, I wonder how he/she will feel when he/she begins to understand that marriage means cheating on one another. Kids aren't as stupid as you seem to think.

I am not sure what you expect, or if it is reasonable, but it's safe to say that after your rebuffs he is not going to initiate contact with you again.

Make sure you know what you're doing but it doesn't seem as though you've really thought this through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 10:01am
Thank you for your reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 12:07pm

But if you have an affair, how long will your household

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 12:29pm
You are right. Thank you for your advice and for undercover's advice. Helps to see all of this in print and not just in my mind where it's easy to anestheticize it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 5:23pm

I have tried very hard to work on the problems in my marriage but they're irreparable.


Try harder - other than substance abuse or verbal/physical abuse, there's not much that can't be worked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 6:28pm

I will try harder. Thank goodness it's not substance abuse nor physical abuse issues with which I am dealing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 9:23pm
hhbo, I think most couples at some point feel a lack of connection, intimacy, desirability in their relationship. It's difficult to reconnect after feeling like that but in most cases it is possible if you still love one another. Having an affair would mean you have completely given up all hope and are ready for the relationship you have to end. Although I understand your attraction to another man - And it must feel really inspiring and enlightening to finally feel attractive and wanted after a while of feeling lonely, I completely get that - It doesn't seem like you REALLY are ready to give up on your marriage. The marriagebuilders suggestion is a really wonderful one. Have you posted to any of the marriage boards here? There are many men and women going through similar times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 9:53pm
Hi, undercovercrab. This message board is my first foray into message boards and anonymous help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 7:27am

Why don't you post more specific information?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 9:53am
I will. Thank you.