how do i deal with my overbearing friend
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|Wed, 02-04-2004 - 11:50am|
so i have this friend named wendy. she has 4 kids, (ages 13,9,7,5)she is 38, and desperately wants another but her body just won't cooperate. she has been trying for like 2 years and has had a m/c in the process, so her hubby said he wants to call it quits on trying to get pg.
when i had my dd back in 2001, well actually when i found out i was pg, she suddenly became my best friend. she insisted that i call her as soon as labor started, and after the baby was born she came to the hospital. i didn't really mind that.
but THEN... she called me like everyday, either just to talk (for like 2 hours) or dropping hints that she wanted to come over. one time when dd was about 10 days old she even had her husband call me and tell me that she was having a bad day and she really needed to get out of the house, so can she come over. mind you it was like 7:00 already and she came over, wanted to give my dd a bath, which i didn't really mind, since i needed the break, but then once i got dd to sleep FINALLY around 10:30, i desperately wanted to go to bed and i kept trying to hint around that i was really tired. she totally ignored my hints (she's that type of person) and stayed till 1:30am!!! and was crying when she left because she wanted a little baby and knew that her dh didn't, and blah blah blah....
well when i found out i was pg this time, she started calling me every single day again. she always wants to come over my house, but i know that when she comes, she brings all 4 of her own kids (who are home-schooled, so they're always home) plus a little girl she babysits. That's 5 KIDS!!! and when they come over they expect to be entertained. they ask for food and hot chocolate and candy and all kinds of crap. and when your pg you do not feel like dealing with other people's 5 kids, especially when you know they will be there for hours and hours. she stays at least until my dh comes in the door from work around 5:30. then if i try to say i need to start dinner, she'll say something like "don't cook, we can order pizza's and have dinner together!" AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
so because of this i just don't bother answering the phone when she calls or return her messages. that's caused a whole other problem now. she just comes over, doesn't call first. she'll show up at my door with all her kids and ring the doorbell and knock like 50 times and even call my house on her cell phone from the car like 3 times. once she even tried to open my door. psycho!
i don't feel bad not answering the door because i feel as though it's very rude what she is doing, so why sould i?
she also is already making plans for this baby. she's talking about how she is going to come over and "keep me company" all the time and make us dinner and bring it over. i really dont' want any of that. i just can't stand having her here all the time or feeling like i am always having to "report" to her by calling her back or having her over all the time.
i have tried dropping hints and she just doesn't *WANT* to get it. there's no way she's that dumb that she doesn't get what i'm trying to tell her sometimes.
and she's VERY easily hurt so i don't want to have to tell her outright "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" becuase then she'll go into this major depression and blame it all on me. which i know it isn't my fault but i just don't want to deal with her crap.
thank you to anyone who is still reading this! can you please give me advice?