Greedy relatives

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2006
Greedy relatives
6
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 6:46pm
You know greed is the one thing that can tear families apart. My grandmother has teamed up with my stepfather to attempt to get control of my brother's finances. My brother has a mental illness I have power of attorney and I am Rep Payee for his benefits. My mother died back in July every since my grandmother and stepfather have tried everything to get control of his money. He was left some insurance money and I discovered 2000 missing until I could take him to the bank and close out the account. My grandmother and stepfather had added themselves to his account. They were at the social security office attempting to make rep payee changes the day after my mother was buried. All the insurance policies were left to my brother and myself. SO my stepfather wasnt happy with that. He and my mother had been seperated for years but not divorced. So he moved back into the home the night she died of a heart attack. When I go to the house there is no food the house is a mess. So about once a week I go and buy groceries for the home. He doesnt absolutely nothing but they constantly plot ways to attempt to gain control of my brothers money. I recieved a call today while I was at work from the social security office they were at it again. This is stressing me out so much. I hadnt spoken with my grandmother in two months and was thinking about calling her but she and my stepfather are constantly plotting. She had even contacted a lawyer to see if she had the power to do anything which she doesnt. She is 78 and I hate for her to leave this world with things like this but she is constantly plotting and the stress is to much for me while I am pregnant. I am already emotional because I am pregnant and this is the first Christmas without my mother, the family always all got together for the holidays but it will not be that way this year. A couple of long time family friends have suggested I get a lawyer it just doesnt seem rite to go that route with family members but I may not have any choice. Anyone else experience anything like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
In reply to: zphi10
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 6:55pm

What an awful thing to have to go through. It sounds like your brother is very lucky to have you! I think your friends are right about getting a lawyer to stop this nonsense. They aren't acting like family, so I say don't treat them like family. Your family is your brother and he deserves protecting! Good luck with everything!

Shannon

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: zphi10
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 10:05pm
That is absolutely disgusting!!! They have no right! I am so sorry you are going through this, it sounds just awful! Your friends are probably right, you may have no choice but to get a lawyer if they keep this up. I hope it doesn't go that far, but greed does awful things to people. Hang in there!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2006
In reply to: zphi10
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 3:42am

I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your brother! The audacity of some people...

I keep shaking my head because I can't believe that a grandmother or even a stepfather would try to do something like this to their own family. I know it happens, I've talked to a woman who was trying to take money away from her disabled and dying mother, but still, just seems so unreal.

I would agree with your friends. It's time to get a lawyer if they've already tried to add themselves to your brother's account and have taken $2000. It sucks that you'll be the one to have to do so but you have to protect your brother. Good luck on deciding what to do.

Bethany
Alexandria Marie 2/6/07

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
In reply to: zphi10
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:24am

UGH!


It seems that your mother was a VERY smart woman for leaving money to you and your brother in your care! I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this while pg, but it sounds like you will be dealing with this long after pregnancy as well.


You should be able to consult a lawyer for free. And best I know, if you ended up taking them to court, when they lost and were ordered to repay the money they would have to pay your lawyer fees as well.


In the meantime, just like you alerted the SS office, I would alert all insurance companies via certified letter that the company needs to be on hightened alert should those two people request info or attempt to make changes without your consent.


Your "stepfather" doesn't have a leg to stand on, so any one found helping him out could also get in some serious trouble, that alone should get the companies attention. As for your grandma, Good Lord, Shame on her! She might be able to get further than your step father, so that is the avenue I would watch the closest.


Those two are just sick- there is no *absolute* way I would act as though they are my family. You family is your brother and your mom, and I am so sorry that this will be your first Christmas without her- (((HUGS!)))


Leah

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2003
In reply to: zphi10
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 1:28pm

i hate that you have to go through this now. your mom obviously new what she was doing when she left you in control.

i am going to say the same things that the other gals did... get a laywer... i don't want to sound morbid or anything, but while you are talking to the lawyer about this problem, also make a will of your own. it is amazing what family can do to one another in the name of $$.

in addition to alerting the SS administration, i'd also put fraud alerts out on your brother's SSN so that greedy grandma & selfish stepdad can't get any credit or loans in your brother's name.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
In reply to: zphi10
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 1:39pm

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. My aunt is mentally ill and I've seen what my mother has been through trying to protect her money from the other siblings. Money does terrible things to people, even people you would never expect. I agree with the others to get a lawyer and guard his credit so they don't take out credit cards in his name. Even if you don't necessarily want to take them to court over the $2000, a well-worded letter from an attorney with a stern warning could scare them enough to make them back off, and at least they would know that you mean business. Good luck

~Andrea