Help!! Father in law being inappropriate!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2014
Help!! Father in law being inappropriate!!
6
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 1:27am

So my father in law just moved in about 6 months ago with my boyfriend my 2yr old son & myself. I always kinda of distanced myself from him or kept conversations light between us to so about 4 days ago he comes home & starts telling me that he went to a nude camp which I thought was kinda weird to tell me since we don't have that kind of relationship to tell each other things like that. So he keeps on talking about it & then goes in to that I need to go & try it out & I'm definitely not one for stuff like that. So he keeps asking if I would ever go & I say no & he keeps pressing on why not & I say I'm not comfortable doing that stuff & showing my body to strangers cuz I'm not comfortable doing that cuz 1. I have stretch marks 2. I have cellulite on my thighs & 3. I'm just not ok doing that sort of stuff. & he still keeps asking the say question then he finally comes & sits next to me on the couch asking to see where so I point over my clothes to the problem areas & he then lift my shirt showing belly & lifts my capris pant legs up to show my thighs then starts inspecting to see the areas. I was very scared he did that cuz he just got out of prison for apparently doing the same thing to his daughter which I didn't knw the full story until after this. To scary me even more he start asking me if I shave cuz to go to a nude camp u must shave everything. So he looks down the front of my pants to see if I shave my vagina & then as I get up he sticks his hands down my pants to grab my butt under the panties to see how firm it is then try's to touch my boobs I said no then got away. Then he kept saying not to tell anyone about 5 times. He was aLso  telling me about his private areas like he shaves everything & how long his penis is disgusting. I went outside to try & get away luckily my bf showed up from work about 10mins later. I told him about it in private cuz I was truly scared for my life I had no idea what he could've done to me or my son since we were alone with him. So my bf confronts him 2 days later & he claims he didn't think he was doing anything wrong & claimed he meant nothing by it but honestly u just came out of prison for the same thing how could u not knw it's wrong. He threw the whole guilt trip to his son (my boyfriend ) cuz if he leaves he goes to the streets but honestly I shouldn't be in fear the rest of my life or have to hide in my room or out of my apartment forever right. Am I wrong to feel this way cuz I have nobody else to tell besides my bf & he seems to believe it wasn't intentional & thinks I should give him amother chance but I'm so sick & can't even come out my room I'm not even going to be stayinh home the next couple days. am I wrong to feel this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 12:28pm

And you just sat there and let him do all that?!

This is probably the wrong forum.  As a mother of a young child, you need to think beyond yourself.  If you are OK to risk a repeat, fine, but what if he were to act inappropriately towards your son?

Get out of there ASAP.  Run, don't walk.

And by the way, he is NOT your father in law.  You are not married to his son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2013
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 1:09pm
If he was in prison for doing the same thing, shouldn't be a registered sex offender?? If so, why is he allowed to be in the same house as a small child?? Your boyfriend should have asked him to leave immediately and never should have fallen for any guilt trip. YOU, as the mother, need to find somewhere else for you and your son to go. Bottom line, you would be able to fight him off but your son would not. It's not fair to put your little boy in the position of even possibly begin assaulted by the ex-con who already assaulted his mother. Yes, by touching you the way he did, he assaulted you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 1:12pm

I'm not sure why you didn't grab a lamp or something and crack him over the head. You let a man who just got out of prison for sexual assault look down your pants? I don't get that. I'd have slugged him for all I was worth had he tried that on me. You don't have to engage in that kind of conversation nor let anyone view your body.

I agree with the other poster-get the heck out of there asap. Don't wait another minute. You are in danger-GET OUT NOW!!

Brenda

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2014
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 3:30pm

You guys are right. the more I think about it the more I wish I could have done so many things different but in the moment I wasn't thinking about any of that. I couldn't go anywhere cuz I don't drive I didn't have my phone & nobody was around in my apartment complex to scream for help & I was scared if I did something that he would hurt me & theN do something to my son. The person he was sent to prison for was over 18 so they said it was ok to be around kids & yes he is registered as a sex offender. But I am no longer staying at my home & will be reporting it to his probation officer I can't stand the thought of him being out & could do it again to someone. Thanks for all your input 

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 07-23-2014 - 8:26pm

Get yourself an education, a job, and a place of your own.  Hopefully by then you will be mature enough to realize you do not NEED a man to survive, your standards will be higher, and you will teach your child to be a better man than than those you have surrounded yourself with, so far.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 10:48am

I suspect this post is a troll but on the chance that its not....

You need to get out of there and dump your bf. Something is wrong with him if he allowed his sex-offender father to move in you without first explaining the entire history to you and making sure that you were comfortable with him being there. When you told bf about the inappropriate behavior he should have told his father to get out, then, instead of waiting 2 days to "confront" him and decide that it was all a misunderstanding.  Bf doesn't have your best interests at heart so you need to take care of yourself and your child.

Why are you waiting to inform his probation officer?