Team Meeting to Nowhere

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2013
Team Meeting to Nowhere
Wed, 03-26-2014 - 10:13am

I am a new member of a management team (9 months now) and every year the team meets in a city for 3 days of planning for the coming year. The team of 25 or so is from all over the US and Canada and this is a time to connect and have fun. Usually it is an exciting city no one is located. Last year it was Las Vegas! We were going to go to San Diego but I just found out the plans changed and they are coming to my hometown. Not only is that disappointing for me but I also found out that since I am 'local' I don't get to stay in the hotel downtown but I get to commute 3+ hours every day from my suburban home into the city for the meetings. I'm very upset about these plans and not only feeling left out but everyone else will be having fun while I don't. They will be planning after hours activities and if I participate I will not only have the 1+ train ride home, I will have to coordinate train schedules and make my way to the train station by myself at night just to get up at 5:30 the next morning to do it all again. How do I handle this? Do I just smile and live with it? Politely decline the after hours stuff? I want to be a 'team player' but I'm the one being excluded from the 'team'. What do you think?

Avatar for mourningthewicked
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 03-27-2014 - 1:58pm

I happen to live in the vicinity of where my work has conferences. I'm only an hour and a half away and they put me up in the hotel with the others AND cover my bus fare. I think you definitely should mention that you're so far away. They may not cover your transportation but they may book you a room so you can partake in all the events.


“Are people born wicked, or is wickedness trust upon them?” 

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Thu, 03-27-2014 - 1:07pm

This same thing happened to my husband and all it took was a call to the person in charge to explain the logistics and they went ahead and got a room for him too. The planner only knew that my husband lived in the same city but had no clue how far from the convention center he was. 

If I were you, I'd first try calling the event planner to let them know you'd like a room with everyone else. 

Community Leader

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 03-26-2014 - 12:16pm

Does your boss realize the logistical problems? I would probably talk to whoever makes these decisions and point out that your commute will make it difficult to participate in the after-hours team building activities. Maybe they don't realize that you live so far from the job/hotel. If they won't pay for you to stay at the hotel for the entire meeting maybe they would pay for one night; or maybe there are other options like you could stay with a nearby friend? If none of that works out then I would probably plan to stay in the city late for one of the nights, whichever has the activity that seems most important to participate in, and have to miss the other nights.

You might want to repost this on one of these work-related boards where it might be seen by people specifically wanting to discuss work issues. Good luck, hope they let you stay at the hotel.