Message board guideline

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Message board guideline
10
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 11:16am

Hello,  I am not sure who to address this to.  Way back when every board had guidelines for posting at the top of the page. There were cm's who regularly posted and kept the boards on track--it was also easy to contact a cm.  These guidelines were incredibly helpful for most boards and especially helpful for "Betrayed Spouses Support" board as it clearly listed the board was just that--support for betrayed spouses, a safe place for the betrayed spouse to post without being harrassed.  With all the changes this has disappeared along with many, many posters who offered great support.  A while back I was the cl of the board (before all the changes) and betrayed spouses could post and not feel attacked by those in affairs or those who had them in the past.  Now the board has become a spot for debate with comments from people in affairs and attacks from those who clearly are not dealing with the same pain as those who have a spouse cheating on them.  This is so very sad.

Will the board guidelines ever be returned?  Is ivillage looking for a different kind of message board, not a 'support' board?  It is a shame that this change has occurred.  I know personally the old board helped me years ago and I felt I helped others when I posted after my experience.  Now I rarely post as I feel it is no longer a supportive environment. I hope something can be done.

Ollie

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 2:50pm

I forwarded this to the Love and Sex CM. 

I had no idea BS had gone so sideways.  I am always very, very careful when I send people to any of the A boards. 

Now, if we could just get notifications back!!!!!!  Ugh....

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

 

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:16pm
I'll see if I can find the disclaimers for those boards and get them added back. Thanks for letting me know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:25pm

I hear you Serenity!  I am beginning to think that ivillage just wants the "debate" thing on its boards.  That maybe 'support' is too tame. I am a former betrayed spouse and I would never post on the " my affair support" or the "after affair support" board.  I don't feel it would be right or helpful as I have never had those experiences.  Unfortunately others don't feel the same way and their words can be hurtful instead of helpful.  

Love your board by the way!  I read it often as I am--making a second marriage work now! :)

Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:26pm

Thanks Jen!!!

Avatar for cmerin
Administrator
Registered: 01-20-2004
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:57pm

Hi Ollie!

I wanted to point out that you can definitely email us at feedback@mail.ivillage.com if you have any issues with anything board related — be it a poster, a suggesting, a thread, and so on. The email will be passed along to the person who can best help you!

Thanks,

Erin
Community Technical Assistant | Community Moderator
iVillage.com

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 4:06pm

I may be one of those people who has unintentionally caused distress on the BS board.  If so, mea culpa.

I do believe that part of the reason people wander onto boards that 4 years ago they would have ignored is because iVillage has only about 50 regular posters these days.  I see the same people everywhere (including me) because there aren't enough people on any single board to make it interesting. Back in the early days and even 5 years ago, you could have a ton of lively conversation or support within a single board and never know that the regulars from one board also posted on another. Now the boards are so slow that the newest post can sit for an entire day on the home page of the message boards without being replaced by something newer, and it attracts the attention of people who otherwise would have never seen it.

I don't think iVillage is trying to encourage debate. . . I think they've just given up.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 4:13pm

BTW that is not meant as a slam against any of our CMs.  They do a great job!  I'm just sad that I have seen so many of my favorite boards die away due to all the technical issues. . . and that no new people seem to join and stick around anymore.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 4:47pm

 Actually some wonder if they want these boards at all.  They have not solved many problems.  I have noticed a lot of the Nazi's have left with a lot of the regulars.  A new better format?  I doubt it.  For those boards that want specific responses it i hop won't happen.  Life is full of people from differing views,backgrounds,education,sexuality,careers and cultural conditioning.   In some the  politically correct commissar had decreed the "company line"' that had to be followed.  That is not helping it is regurgitation.  No two people are the same so one size does not fit all.

dragowoman

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 4:47pm

 Actually some wonder if they want these boards at all.  They have not solved many problems.  I have noticed a lot of the Nazi's have left with a lot of the regulars.  A new better format?  I doubt it.  For those boards that want specific responses it i hop won't happen.  Life is full of people from differing views,backgrounds,education,sexuality,careers and cultural conditioning.   In some the  politically correct commissar had decreed the "company line"' that had to be followed.  That is not helping it is regurgitation.  No two people are the same so one size does not fit all.

dragowoman

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 7:51pm

Thank you Ollie!  We can't see 'views' any more.  At least I used to know that the thread was being read.

I have been posting on boards I never used to even look at, trying to be supportive.  And yes, I find that there are a handful of us doing the same thing.  I posted an issue on a parenting board and low and behold, two of my board buddies from totally different areas are the ones who replied.  Like I should be suprised. 

Don't get me wrong, the topics do need different boards and they did offer appropriate advice. 

Not having notifications is my big annoyance right now.  I might be wrong, but I think it would make a huge difference. 

Serenity CL Making a Second Marriage Work

Serenity