Date rape and popular perceptions

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Date rape and popular perceptions
17
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 12:59pm

Hello everyone, I was wondering what everyone thought of this link:

http://www.charmandrigor.com/clips/details-raping.html

The piece goes on a bit about cases of men date raped by women.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2011
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 4:31pm

Anytime someone is forced to have sex it would be rape, whether that "force" was simply intimidation, or a threat or physical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 9:45pm
Sounds more like seduction to me, than the commonly accepted definition of rape. A woman cannot compel a man to have intercourse without some measure of errrr......ummmmm.... willingness on his part, even if it's merely at the limbic libido, "nocturnal erection" level. That's a biological fact.

Just to refresh lessons on human physiology for for y'all--a woman CAN be raped without any desire, limbic or higher level.

IMHO, coercion can be wrong, unlawful, immoral. But it's not rape when the man's sexual performance is clear.

And I don't take kindly to the idea that we're suddenly going to equate women who have been drugged, beaten and forcibly penetrated as the equivalent of Nick's or Brad's experiences. There are orders of magnitude differences.

Jabberwocka

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 3:50pm

No no no, erection does not equal desire.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 4:39pm

Bear in mind that iVillage caters primarily to women which is why I, as a woman, frequent the site.

Jabberwocka

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2011
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 9:53pm
If a man is too intoxicated to give consent, it may be rape. However no court is going to convict a woman of it. Sexism is very much alive in the U.S.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 11:07pm
Years ago in my high school driver's ed class, the teacher told us that not only would inebriation adversely affect a person's ability to drive safely but it would also affect ability to sexually perform and climax. I got the impression he was talking about males.

Perhaps he was lying but if it's true that intoxication affects arousal, then there isn't much likelihood of "rape" and blaming sexism is naught but a red herring.

Jabberwocka

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 1:41am

I don't know exactly what this guy told you - I wasn't there after all, but it would seem he was probably being misleading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 2:29pm
The definition of "rape" is being pushed to compare forcible penetration with oral sex, even if the man didn't necessarily "consent". Did he have to worry about STD's? Pregnancy? Traumatized tissues? Sorry, but I am still not convinced.....

As regards the driver's ed teacher, he may well have intended his pupils to be "scared straight". I cannot say from personal experience--as a woman and never having gotten so plastered that I lost consciousness.

Jabberwocka

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 4:51pm

It was the court's decision, not mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 8:42pm

I NEVER pretended to have first hand knowledge and pointed out my own gender repeatedly. iVillage touts itself as a "daily destination for women". So, am also wondering what a site which caters primarily to women would bring to the issue of male rape by a woman.

Seemingly, "rape" is being re-defined and is now inclusive of concepts which were once called "seduction" or "molestation". These are my questions: What is it about rape which we find reprehensible? Are males truly likely to be victimized by aggressive women? Are aggressive women able to compel a man to have unwanted intercourse? How often does this happen and are accounts credible? Thus far, the evidence presented is sketchy. What's needed, on the topic, are more empirical and proven biological facts. If you wish to convince us, make a case which includes more than just anecdote or court cases.

Jabberwocka

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