Changing the way you view yourself
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|Sun, 03-25-2012 - 2:16pm|
Hope you don't mind a newbie here dropping in. Right now, I in the state of confusion. After 32 yrs of top performance my job has been eliminated. I have spent years counseling people who go through this & I know all the stages & what I should be doing but right now, I'm struggling with my identity. I have one week left to work & in the 3 wks since I was told, I have worked 70 to 80 hrs a week to try to catch things up or complete tasks so that those remaining have minimal impact. I have one more week to go & frankly, I'm sick of doing this which is so unlike me. I'm a workaholic who takes great pride in delivering high quality work. I understand the reason why I'm about to be unemployed & I'm so, so fortunate that while I won't be planning any major expenditure I will be getting a pension which will cover my day to day modest living expenses.
But I don't know who I am anymore. As I said, I couldn't care less about finishing up these last tasks. I don't have a sense of identity anymore but my family is thrilled as I get to be a housekeeper, cook & babysitter. My DH retired 5 yrs ago & he is looking forward to having a playmate. My kids are grown up & out of the house. I have been ill a lot in the last year not that my company was aware of as I work from home but my family watched me struggle through 3 major illnesses. They want me to slow down, take 6 mths off before I make any commitments either to volunteer work or another job if I can ever find one at my age. I understand their concern about my health but I'm so scared. I've never been at home other than for a few short mths after each of my 3 kids were born. I have signed up for classes for a couple of