Bossy co-worker

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2013
Bossy co-worker
5
Sat, 04-13-2013 - 1:48pm

started in a new dept about 4 months ago.  We are a dept of 4, the director and 3 of us. Mine is a new position having my own specific tasks/duties as well to helping out the rest. 

I am not anyone's personal assistant/EA.  I was hired to take tasks/responsibilities off co-workers desks so they can concentrate on other things. I do not maintain their schedules; take dictation (so to speak); or perform administrative aide duties like an EA would to a CEO or VP.  I report only to the director.   

One guy and the manager give me stuff to do and I do it. I own it. It has become my work. The other person however is controlling. This is where my problem comes in. I am not sure how to address it. She has been told to give me stuff to but she clearly taking that as a cue to become my manager.  

She is very controlling and a micromanager. When she gives me something to do, I start doing it and then she either takes over completely or interrupts the process.  She then states on the emails that I am assisting her and/or she is “instructing” me and so on.  None of these projects/tasks require 2 people.  She has never told me I was doing anything wrong. 

She wants me to make meetings for her (that she wants with me) and Email people on stuff I have nothing to do with. All these things she should be doing herself. 

She is making more work for herself, me and probably confusing a lot of people as she keeps getting involved. It is inefficient as we re-send emails, change who is in charge and many times I am used as the middle man for things that could go directly to me or her to complete. The processes that she creates are often cumbersome and have a lot room for error.  Like once, she forwarded me an Email she got and asked me to send the person a form and told me to ask them to send it back to her.  She had the form already.  She wasted time as all she had to do as reply to the original email. Apparently her " big" moment to look so important she needed an assistant to help. 

I spend more time reading her “instruction” emails and “tell me what is going on” emails than the tasks take. I can’t figure out if she is just really bad at organizing, delegating or in her need to be so controlling thinks get messed up, or is it a combination of both. Maybe she just doesn’t know what she is doing and covers it this way.  There is more but that is the gist of it. 

I am hesitant to go the manager because I am supposed to help. I don’t want to sound whiny. BUT, lines are being crossed.  She just needs keep the stuff or let it go and stop using me as her personal assistant and trying to manage me. Again I don’t report to her and should not be at her beck and call and nod and bow as she “assigns” me tasks and so on. 

My manager just see’s the stuff getting done so would she care? I don't want to dance around the point because bottom line is she needs to just do her stuff and leave me alone with mine.  


Any advice would be great…  thanks ! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2013
Sat, 04-13-2013 - 2:20pm

A little more info.. ( like the post wasn't long enough...  )  I have made it clear with her on who's responsibility some of this is.  She has said and emailed that I was.  She also is not one to even challange on anything because if she says I am a 6'3 female with blond hair and blue eyes  ( I am not close to 5 feet and a brunette) she will actually get quite snarky arguing she is right.  She has told me I rec'd emails that I never did looking at me flat out and saying...  " YOU DID get that email".    So that is what I am dealing with.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Mon, 04-15-2013 - 4:40pm
I think that you need to start drawing a line with her and telling her when there are things she should be doing on her own. She sounds like she is completely wasting your time and her own, and you need to be frank with her about it. She's on a total power trip, or that's what I'm seeing from your description. If it is her own ineptitude, than you should do some training of your own. If it's not your responsibility, than continue to repeat that to her. If you ultimately need to talk with your director about it, than be sure to document instances where she's not dealing with you in the correct manner. You might also need to ask for a more detailed job description, it sounds like they left a lot of it open to interpretation. I'm assuming that your goal is to take on some of their duties so they are now yours, not theirs. She's not delegating her duties to you at all.

Chelsea

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."

Avatar for lizmvr
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 04-16-2013 - 12:37pm

Are you at the same level as her? Do you both report to the same manager? What about the other guy that gives you tasks? Is he at the same level as you and/or your bossy coworker, too? If so, if I were you, I would likely mention to the bossy one that the guy seems to be giving his tasks directly to you and then you take ownership of them, that it's working well, and you'd like to try that approach with the work she transfers to you since it seems more efficient. Let the manager know that you've said this to her, too, just so that he's in the loop and she can't say she thought of it or blame you for being bossy to her.

Do keep good notes. Follow up on conversations with her via email and copy your manager at least sometimes, too. It's good to just keep him in the loop as to what's happening in his department. Be professional and polite in the emails, not accusatory or belittling to the bossy coworker, just informative. Then if she has issues let her respond, and hopefully she'll copy the manager too when she does--that way the manager gets his own perspective on the situation and can address it if he feels he needs to step into any situation.

Let some of her comments like "You DID get that email" go. I wouldn't recommend responding harshly back when she says something like that--be the bigger person. I know it might not feel as good as one-upping her at the time, but in the long run it's really best for you, I think.

Good luck!

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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http://www.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2013
Thu, 04-18-2013 - 8:21pm

Thank you both for your reply.   Yeah she is just power tripping.    She needed to put on an email that I am assisting her with,... the supply committee.  Seriously ? A committee that takes approx.... NO time out of our day or week or month.  Just someone to answer questions here and there and change forms/items here and there. She is that incompetent she needs an assistant for that?  Certainly sounds like that is the problem !  Ok it is not but yeah, sounds like it !   

To answer a question Lizmvr had, yes and no.  None of us are managers, leads or supervisors.  She is in sales, like sales development and marketing.  I am the dept assistant.  Copying stuff, mailing stuff, scanning and attaching forms etc to data bases, maintaining data bases, ordering lunches and other things like an admin type job. She is just using it to her advantage to make it look like she is important.

Her emails in general to anyone is pretty much and bossy and controlling so it is not just me. But because we are in the same dept I get the brunt of it.  

Today my boss asked me to do this little project.  She was one of the people I needed to email some info too.  I did everything I was suppose to do and what does she do?  Emails me to make sure I did it.  That was none of her business. My boss assigned this to me. And my boss trusted I would do it as a boss should.  It  was not her job to follow up with me on it.  I get why she wanted to be assured a certain thing was done ( it was ) but that is not the primary reason why she asked me.  She had to get involved. It is like she is almost over running my boss.  You know what I mean ?  She is overstepping her boundry.  

I am going to have to push back a little, chill on the stupid stuff she does. 

But I am just not sure where to take most of this at this point.  I will keep my notes, emails and just kinda of play it by ear.  I think a lot of my boss but I also know she counts and relies on this gal ( perhaps way to much and blindly ) a lot and although I don't want this gal fired or reprimanded ( just told to not manage me) I am really not sure if my boss will see this the same as I do.

Ok..  done..  thanks for your imput...  !  

Avatar for lizmvr
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 05-07-2013 - 1:49pm
Hey, Blinkey! How are things going? I hope it's better, even if it's just your outlook that's shifted. Take care!

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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http://www.