Having a hard time at work

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2013
Having a hard time at work
5
Wed, 01-30-2013 - 8:41pm

Hi all, 

I need some outside advice.. To make a long story short, I had started a new position in my company a few months ago as a promotion to management.. I have a small staff now with 2 people above me. I've been under a lot of stress with this job, trying to produce for the business and doing my best to achieve a profit for the company.  

The main problem is my coworkers.. Or maybe it's me. I have always thought of myself as a nice person, always willing to do something to make someone happy, no matter how large or small it is. I've always been a quiet type, and maybe a little socially awkward as I find it hard to make friends sometimes. I've had the same friends for years now, and I thank god for them. 

I have recently been accused of being selfish by an employee, something I've never in my life been called. I'm not sure where she is getting this from as I do plenty for her, even take her out for drinks, buy them lunch etc. I really take this to heart and now am over analyzing everything I say and do so I don't appear to be so awful.. :(

In my position, I have to represent the business to all new prospective clients and I always take this opportunity, because this is what I'm paid to do. 

To make a long story short, her and the other employees make my life so difficult calling me names behind my back because I'm so meticulous about keeping everything the way I like it.  Am I a control freak? 

Does anyone have advice on how I can keep these girls in line without coming off as mean to them? I now find since I have stopped telling them what to do bc it's met with so much negativity, that nothing gets done... 

I give up with them lol.. But I have to take control again and get more structure in the company. 

Please help!! Any advice is appreciated! 

:)

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 1:06pm

Thanks for giving your input! It sounds like you have some valuable experience to backup your advice. Welcome to the board!

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


-------------------------------------------------
http://www.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 3:11am
My advice is pretty much in line with the other posters. Accept the face that everyone complains about their boss. It's simply the way it is. If you can't accept that, you don't belong in management. Are you a control freak? Can you honestly accept that there might be more than one right way to do something? People are happier and more engaged in their work when they have a sense of ownership and control. The next time you need to establish a procedure, ask them how they think it should go. As long as their suggestion will achieve the desired end result, let them do it that way. It may drive you a bit nuts, but things will go much better if you focus on the achievement of the goals rather than nitpick every small detail. Then, when there are times that you do need to stick to a specific way they will be more accepting of it. That is how I run my team and it seems to work very well. My advice on implementing this? Don't try to make a big announcement. Simply ask for their input at the next opportunity. And then implement their input. They will be floored! (in a good way)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 3:54pm

It's hard to know if you are a control freak or not because you didn't really say what they are complaining about.  Every company has procedures that are standard and that people have to follow so if you just set up what you think are efficient procedures, the underlings should be following them.  But also people don't like to be micromanaged about stupid things either, so think about whether it might be possible that they have a point--is this something that's necessary to get the work done or just your own little quirk? 

But I totally agree w/ Wisdomtooth here--you weren't picked to be the boss by your superiors so that you can let your employees walk all over you.  If you don't start acting like your boss, you won't have a job because the people over you will see that you can't manage people effectively.  It's probably a mistake to try to be so buddy-buddy with the employees that you manage cause you have kind of lost authority, so they complain to you like you are supposed to be their friend.  And do you have authority to fire them?  Maybe if they realized that if they don't shape up, they could be out of a job, they'd be more cooperative.

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:44pm

"You'll also have to train yourself to stop looking for approval from your peers. The approval you want is to bring in the numbers, customers, product sales, whatever measure your company uses to define 'success.'"

Wisdomtooth, you are so right!

The only thing I would add is to get the coworkers to take ownership especially if they aren't feeling able to function well with the way you organize your workspace, processes, etc., Italian. If the coworkers work better, produce better results with their own desks being arranged differently than yours is, so be it. Unless it's adversely affecting work, let them have some say in how they are working, too. Sometimes I know that being seemingly micromanaged has hurt my own morale, but when I have some leeway to do what I think is easiest in getting to good results, I can flourish.

Good luck!

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


-------------------------------------------------
http://www.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:35pm

Hi,

Were you promoted to management over former co-workers? If so, it's an unfortunate truth that when one is promoted above their peers, there is resentment, anger, and a tendancy to want to sabotage you. 

My two cents?

For starters, realize you are not their "friend" but their boss. You don't have to be godzilla but neither can you be their fairy godmother. You need to learn the difference between "being nice" and setting out expectations. So, no more Miss Nice Guy, i.e. buying lunch, drinks, going out with them to socialize.

Ditto if you were promoted into a new department as a peer, in a job some of them probably wanted (and didn't get). Don't give them your back to aim at. Socialize with your true friends outside of work and maintain a professional relationship with your coworkers. Keep your personal information to yourself and stick to work.

Second, your mission is to meet the corporate expectations, not get your coworkers acceptance or approval. If the way you arrange your work style (desk, appointments, assignments, etc) is effective for you to meet this objective then stick to it. What they find "selfish" or otherwise is their business. (And I would say to them,"What you think of me is none of my business." Let that sit on their brains for a while.)

You'll also have to train yourself to stop looking for approval from your peers. The approval you want is to bring in the numbers, customers, product sales, whatever measure your company uses to define "success." 

Highly successful people have one thing in common: people who resent, hate, or try to sabotage them because they aren't successful and don't want anyone else to be either! Trust me, if you left and went somewhere else, and came back 5 years later, these same people will still be sitting at their desk whining and moaning about someone else! :)

Congratulations on your new position. Do it well. Do it with excellence. The best revenge is success. It's very possible the next time you're promoted you WILL be THEIR boss! :)